over-elaborate wank

An act of masturbation, the details of which prove to be so labyrinthine in complexity, as to seriously compromise the chances of the protagonist surviving.

Michael Hutchence died of an over-elaborate wank.

Finger bum wank

This phrase can be used to put emphasis on how giddy a friend, colleague or a familiar is.

It is usually used when said people have a sense of achievement or acquired something cheaper.

It can also refer to masturbating your anus with one of your fingers because you're too ugly to get laid.

Man 1: " I got a 2 for 1 deal on these sandwiches!"

Man 2: *makes masturbation gesture* "Finger bum wank sandwich deal!!! You're really saving those pennies!"

Or

Man 1: "Hey I got her number!"

Man 2: "Finger bum wank! She's only the village bike Mr sloppy seconds!"

Wank n’ Spank

When you are giving your cock a vigorous wank and you have a sexual partner lovingly, but repeatedly and firmly, spanking your dangling ballsack at the same time. Ideally, the wank and the spank are performed in synchronized fashion.

I was giving myself a old fashioned wank when my girl walked in. She helped finish me off with a wank n’ spank. My balls are sore as hell.

17👍 2👎

Wank Detector

Device used to sound an alarm if anything increases in size by over 2 Inches, more elaborite systems have a Laser used to disintergate the object.

Pretty Obvious? if not, then go ask your dad.

5👍 33👎

Pre Shag Wank

The strategy a man undertakes to avoid being ahead of schedule.

AKA, Tactical wank.

Ginger: Where the hell is Dave?
Jono: Heckfire... I dunno... His new lady's staying over later, I guess he's having a pre shag wank.
Ginger: That explains it.

wank in a batman suit

This is a phrase which can be used to describe something as not worth doing, or useless.

For when you don't want to do something, as opposed to phrases such as "I'd rather Die" and "cba" "cbb"

Me: Want to go out later?
You: Nah, I'd Rather Wank in a Batman Suit

Me: That football player is crap!
You: He might as well Wank in a batman suit

31👍 6👎

THE DIAMOND FOOT WANK

the DIAMOND FOOTWANK is when a female wearing ankle socks and a short skirt (no knickers required) lies facing a male and shapes her legs like a diamond.she will then masturbate the erect penis with her feet whilst FLICKING HER BEAN. with the fantastic view the male party will see EJACULATION does not take long.

the DIAMOND FOOT WANK is best appreciated in PULIC PLACES such as car show rooms and motorway hard shoulders

19👍 3👎