Working on Update's

Windows most annoying feature

Person 1: He, Do you want to play games?

Person 2: No I have Windows update

Windows: * Working on update's 17% Please don't turn off the computer

Working a Bird

Working one bird equals working a full eight hour shift

"I was working a bird last night so I couldn't have killed that woman!."

working an angle

The art of manipulating situations with the finesse of a used car salesman so that every conversation, no matter how mundane or only tangentially related, serves to benefit one’s personal agenda. Basically social gymnastics for the ethically flexible.

"Brad sure has a knack for working an angle; he turned a routine staff meeting into a networking opportunity with the CEO and somehow ended up with a promotion and the CEO’s old gym socks.”

work weight

weight you put on while at a job. eventually the weight is lost after being fired or quitting.

Person 1:how’s the job going?
Person 2: oh ya i actually got fired 3 weeks ago...
Person 1: oh no! the good news is that you’ve already lost tons of work weight
Person 2: Uhhh thanks?

Hard work

Inextricably linked with moral value (says the business owner)

Business owner "Boy-oh-boy, do I love hard word. Isn't hard work great? Man... Anyone who doesn't work hard is a piece of shit. They should work harder... For me... Right?"

Iam & Hym😐😐 "................"

Business owner "Guys?.... I'm right aren't I?.... Guys? Tell me I'm right. Tell me I'm right or you're a bad person."

Hym & Iam 😐😐"..............."

Business owner "Guys? Right? Being lazy is just a-oh-so-bad huh guys? Reeeal bad."

Hym 😑 "Get in the trunk." *Grabs business owner's collar*

Business owner "Oh jeez! What are you doing to me!?"

Hym "No, get in the trunk we're going for a ride."

Business owner "OoOoOoOh NoOoOoO!"

Iam 😱 "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? STOP!"

Hym "What? I just want to show him how hard I'm willing to work to get his corpse to the bottom of a river." *Stuffs business owner into trunk*

Business owner *muffled screams*

Hym *gets in car*

Iam "Don't..." 👋😟

Hym *drives away*

Iam "...Leave me here...." 😩

Hard Work

Something Erling Braut Haaland does every single day and night which is why he is so good at football.

Interviewer: "What's your secret? You've scored 10 times now in the champions league."
Haaland: "To work hard."

Hard work is the process of persevering through something that requires a great deal of effort and endurance.

Pretty work

A universal term used by sportfisherman to dignify: organization, cleanliness, good actions, opportunities successfully executed, etc. on the high seas.

Yep, there ya go, pretty work… got em on the edge… went 2/3, easy livin.