Norwegian Snapping Turtle

A totally straight, not gay poor man who wants to become a woman acquires a local prostitute and pays her to give him oral sex...
in the midst of it when both his scrotum and testes are on her mouth he knees her in the chin and thus severing his genitalia, leaving a bloody hole(I.e. a vagina).

"Dude, did you hear Tim did a Norwegian Snapping Turtle last Friday?"
"Yeah, now we have to call him Tina!"

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turtle mud

(n) The residue left on the head of a mans penis after performing anal penetration on a willing (or unwillinng "oops! I slipped") subject.

John: My daughter is moving to New York and my turtle dick is not getting any more turtle mud.

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chocolate turtles

crap. turds.

I just saw some chocolate turtles in the toilet back there

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I like turtles

No you dont -__-

"I like turtles" :D

"Fuck you" -__-

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Jewish Jizz Turtle

A man of the Jewish Religion who likes to enockulate or spackle his load of semem over a single turtle or a group of turtles in the wild;

a: Can also be done in a group setting with multiple Jews and a single or lone turtle

Hey do you want to play Jewish Jizz Turtle?

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give you the turtle

The worst threat known to man

You don’t want to know what it means to give you the turtle!

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Bare-back a Turtle

Verb. When you accidentally forget to lift the cover on the toilet seat before you sit down.

"I just went to the bathroom and I'll be damned if I didn't bare-back a turtle"

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