Ambiwankstrous

Equally able to masturbate with both hands.

"Dave, how are you going to wank with a broken wrist?"

"Don't worry mate; I'm ambiwankstrous"

Ambiwankstrous

Having the illustrious ability to masturbate with equivalent rigorousness, cadence, and finesse, regardless of favoured peripheral.

Richard (Dick): "Can't believe I broke my right arm!"
Percy: "Oh damn! Going to be a frustrating couple of months hey!" *wink wink*
Richard (Dick): "Oh no it's fine I'm ambiwankstrous"