apple valley

Apple Valley is a city located in northwestern Dakota County in the U.S. state of Minnesota, and a suburb of the Twin Cities. It was incorporated in 1969. It is 17 square miles of crappy suburban neighborhood housing and .1 square miles of nice private housing. Where all it does is boast about the mall of america, when its not even in the same city. It is home too the independent district of 196 which has the longest public school year and the least amount of snow days which is ironic due to the fact that apple valley does not have a sufficient amount of snow plows. Where the night life does not even exist and there is nothing to due. You on

Apple valley kid 1: Lets do something tonight.
Apple valley kid 2: There is nothing to do we live in apple valley.

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Apple Valley, Minnesota

A large suburb south of Minneapolis filled with people who are way too athletic and that make fat lazy people feel bad.

Person 1: On my way home today I saw 5 people out jogging.
Person 2: Really? But it's 20 below zero.
Person 1: I know. I hate living in Apple Valley, Minnesota. I had planned on going home, putting on sweat pants, and dominating an entire pizza while watching an episode of the biggest loser, but now I feel like I should do something athletic...like play bowling on the Wii.

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Apple valley middle school

Stinky school where there’s a bunch of stinky Pooh’s and a lot of next poops

Gosh Friday Friday stink stink apple valley middle school

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Apple Valley Steamer

Where you wake up the next morning, and your significant other forgot to wipe the night before your anal tickling with your bald head.

"Dude, why does it look like a poop emoji on your head?"
"She gave me an Apple Valley Steamer last night, man."