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A bass clarinet is a musical instrument. For the uninitiated, a bass clarinet resembles a regular clarinet, but it's shaped a little more like a saxophone and sounds a little more like a cow.
Boy 1: Did you hear that cow?
Boy 2: That's actually a recording of my bass clarinet recital.
Boy 1: Great... um... I think I hear my mom calling...
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Usually, a bass clarinet player is a misunderstood, but very useful instrument in a band. Higher than a bari sax, but lower than a tenor sax, the bass clarinet player is the median in a low reed section. Not too high, not too low.
Band Director 1:We need more bari.
Bd 2:We need more tenor.
Bd 3:Nah, both would be over-kill. We need something in between.
Bd 1:We could add some bass clarinets player...
All:YES!
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Our tubas suck, so what do we do? Add more bass clarinets.
-Bass Clarinet Player explanation of what happens to tubas that suck
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The most smiley person in the band, always willing to help.
Person: Hey could you help me move the Bass Drum?
Bass Clarinet Player: No problem!!
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Usually a player of the bass clarinet which is just like a regular clarinet but lower. Might be friends with the alto saxophone player and may cause unneeded drama in band.
A bass clarinet player that finds the need to date all saxophone players of her class
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Football player 1: what instrument is that?
Football player 2: I think it’s a saxophone...
Drum major: *throws baton* NOT a SaXiPhOnE!
Me: Bass Clarinet!
Football player 1: what the heak is that?
THE WEIRDEST FUCKING INSTRUMENT TO PLAY! Often slobbered on by people who deep throaght the instrument while looking insane
"hey your bass clarinet is too far down your throat!"