Benchmarking

To sit or be sitting on a bench or couch with no pants on.

"Gross dude! You're benchmarking my new sofa" -Will KitZel

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benchmarks

Measures of performance, taken from the engineering world, but often referring to computer technology.

Did you see the benchmarks on anandtech for the new AMD 64? It is teh win!

benchmarks

Numeric ratings of a computers performance that can, to some extent be tweaked to give the results you want. Often used in forums to 'prove' that someones chosen product is the best

l33t forum user: I added a 3000 megacycle wonderdongle to my picturemaker and my benchmark is now 2837.
another l33t forum user: wtf rotfl @ l33t forum user!11

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benchmarks

Points of reference for a particular task or job. Or indicators of how well someone is doing.

Based on the days when engineers tested equipment for various vehicles on benches, and had marked the bench with reference points to show how well the device performed.

The basic benchmarks here in this job include that you perform at least 90% of the tasks in each working day, and clear at least 50% of anything left from the day before.

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benchmark

Used as a catch-all substitute for a similar and more appropriate word that you can't quite remember, acceptable only because of its obvious incorrectness

"You know guys, I'm glad we bought those brownies. That was really a... benchmark moment"

"becca's yanif score just passed 150... she's passed her final... benchmark"

"no mom, I can't help clean right now. I'm working on a... benchmark"

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benchmarks

Those suspicious white stains that you see on park benches after one of the_real_thraxz's busy nights on the town.

Jim: Good game lads, now let's sit on this bench to have a drink and cool down.
Jake: Eugh, what's that suggestive white fluid on it?
Jack: I think Thraxz's been doin' t'milk rounds for a bit of extra cash.

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Butch Benchmark

The level obtained in examinations and tests by the big, dumb kid in the class and thus the minimum level every other respectable candidate should obtain.

'I did so bad in that test, I didn't even clear the butch benchmark'