Cost per Nut (CPN)

Cost per Nut (CPN) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?”

In its simplest form:

CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)

MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.

Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.

Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.

CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.

In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.

"Hey Bro! I think they’re both hot & really like me. Which one should I choose?"

"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest Cost per Nut (CPN). Yo!"

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Chicken Patty Nipples (CPN's)

Giant nipples that take over much of a womans breast, making them ugly and irregular. Resemble the size of chicken patties.

"I hooked up with some bitch last night, i got turned off when I saw she had Chicken Patty Nipples (CPN's)"

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CPN (Certified Packed Nigga)

1. Packed as in package, basically a black guy who's good at fucking
2. Packed, meaning you have a gun on you

"He's such a CPN (Certified Packed Nigga), he could get this any day."
"Watch out for the CPN (Certified Packed Nigga) downtown. Don't fuck with 'em."

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CPN

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News organisation run by Chase Publishing

Have you checked out the new CPN website?