chemical process engineer

When you were 18, the university recruiters told you chemical engineering had "so much variety" and "so many opportunities!" Now, you're graduating 4 years later and have realized that your only two options include oil refining (making gasoline from crude oil) and plastics (making polyethylene from ethylene).

This is probably okay, because whatever you suffer in breathing in toluene all day wearing dark coverall FRC's in 95°F weather, you'll make up for with a 6-digit salary right out of school. You also find yourself with a strangely intimate understanding of how everything around you works, like swimming pools, HVAC, cars, plumbing... everything.

Snooty grad-school materials researcher: "So what are you doing after you graduate?"

You: "I'll be working for a (Exxon/Valero/TOTAL/Phillips66/Shell/Citgo/Lyondell/BP) refinery."

SNGSMR: "Oh, so you're *just* a chemical process engineer?"

You: *grabbing another beer, talking to someone else, driving home in your brand new car...*

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