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A magical place where it is rumored that learning takes place, although to those who enter it is often described differently afterward, as a beatiful land in which beer flows in amber currents next to a golden pasture, where virgins lie naked with gentle smiles upon their calm, inviting faces; but more precisely, a Shangri-La rite of passage into adulthood which involves rampant consumption of alcoholic beverages, flagrant and promiscuous sexual behavior, and a general and fundamental disregard for any form of responsibility by its habitants.
Thank you sir, may I have another?
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the place where you enter inexorbitant amounts of debt to "learn" things you will never apply once to your actual occupation. Basically, an expensive 4-year waiting period for a paper called "degree".
I will owe Wells Fargo my first born so I can pay off my college.
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where dreamers can go to secure a plan B for their future employment prospects
Jenny always wanted to be a singer-songwriter, but her parents persuaded her to choose English as a college major, for a fallback plan. She later married a 1950s-style brute who orders her to edit all of his work-related documents and to have dinner on the table by five every night. Life can be so tragic sometimes.
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An alternative to buying a Ferrari (they cost about the same).
Damn, that Ferrari costs almost as much as college.
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a $20,000 cover charge for 18-21 year olds
I was drunk my first semester at college.
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1. High school redirected in a very expensive facility, concentrated with thousands of other crazy drunks, potheads, nerds, and hopeful virgins. It's the center where young adults feel free to do as they wish considering booze, drugs and sex are beknowngst parents, and only until holiday vacations are when their precious sons and daughters come home clean and sober (most of the time). It's the namesake of a heavily financial burden and longterm debt paid by the attendee soon after they (hopefully) graduate.
2. The Real World meets Animal House.
Girl: College is going to be awesome! I can't wait to meet all the guys!
Nerd: I will graduate with a B.S. in Physics.
Boy: I'm a Sigma Chi.
Professor: I hate these little bastards.
Parent: It's as if they're suckling on my retirement funds.
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A highly overated pyramid scheme in which, in exchange for four+ years of your life, you get financially raped by the school bookstore, tuition office, and the american educational system. And as a bonus you get a piece of paper called a 'Duh-Gree' which you pin to your shirt so potential employers will know why you are so stupid.
EMPLOYER: So why do want to work here?
EX-STUDENT: Because I went to college, and therefore I am entitled to a high paying job.
EMPLOYER: Of course. I think you will do well with us. Here is a corner cubicle where you'll spend the rest of your life complaining about why you never get a raise and dot.com dropouts are making more than you.
EX-STUDENT: Sounds great! The job world isn't so hard after all.
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