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Somebody who's best friend is their dick.
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The coomer (Pronounced COOM-er) is an elusive creature. It is on the list of critically endangered species and was once thought to be a myth due to the rarity of these beasts. They are said to be primarily solitary creatures, though at least half a dozen confirmed sightings of coomers in packs of 3-6 have been stated.
They are said to reside in small rooms (known as coomer nests),floors littered with custom-made waifu pillows and coom from the coomer itself.
When confronted, a coomer may become enraged, attacking the offender and in rare cases even stuffing the victim into a homemade coom jar. Coomer attacks are almost always fatal and although they do not happen often due to the rarity of encountering one, only two have lived to tell the tale.
The hide of a coomer goes for 500,000 USD, while a gallon of coomer coom goes for 1,000,000 USD on the black market. The coom of a coomer is said to have rejuvenating properties when mixed with cow urine and emo juice in traditional Chinese medicines.
My best friend went missing when hiking in a remote area of Alaska in 1993, and his body was recovered from a field a year later. The case has never been solved, but research suggests that the cause of death was likely an attack by wild coomers.
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Me: Hey XQC wanna play?
XQC: Yeah just give me a minute I saw this new
Resident Evil Village trailer and the vampires were so fine I gotta go bust a nut to it :)
Me: What a coomer
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Someone who is excessively horny all the time. The definition isn't taken to literally.
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A perverted individual that tends to preform or support sexual activities done by themselves, others or both in a unmoral standard.
The man asks to have sex with any person in any manner, such a filthy Coomer!
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American newspeak designed to shame males. By it's own definition "only pleasure in life is ejaculating to porn several times a day" a female can't be a coomer. Lesbian and violent porn which are predominantly consumed by women, 50 Shades' international success and being the top customers at sexshops clearly don't count in the eyes of these soy-filled misandrist rejects. "Coomer" is predominantly used by tradcons (unattractive males who purchase love) who want to virtue signal to their potential future wife that will divorce him and take him to the cleaners anyway.
NpcMob: Ban porn!
Guy: What about freedom of cho...
NpcMob: Ok coomer!
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