Rural Dictionary

Esty

A feisty rooster!! That is what the name actually means in Farsi, too. Have you ever seen the face of God? Well then explain this, atheists? Estatera is the prom queen...and still the one that helps you with everything... with no questions asked. The one you can call at 3 o'clock in the morning to tell her you have a dead body and she shows up with a shovel. Well she's probably the person who killed him anyway and forgot where she left the body in a drunken stupor. But hey, she shows up. The goofiest person you will ever meet who puts her giant growling face on a t-shirt and gives it to you for Christmas. You are always in her club. Every club because she likes everyone and always has a grin on her face. Unless you are Jimmy Dean the Sausage King. In that case, bring your shovel. She can bear the unbearable and put up with anybody's anything. She will give you matching pregnancy bracelets with a little photo of a fetus with due date October 2030. Never underestimate the power of the Esty. She is all seeing and all knowing. And never serious. You are to pray to her every night before you go to sleep because she is the one and only Esty and not to be replaced.

Do not look Esty directly in the eye her beaming glory will eternally blind you

by Sayad-o-phile July 18, 2017

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