fuck me gently with a 2 x 4

a verbal proclaimation proclaiming surprise or amazement

Charlie, you know that adopted sister of yours that moved to New York, burnadette, wasn't it? well, while she was away she had a sex change and now she is Burnie. Charlie, eyes wide open proclaims " well fuck me gently with a 2 x 4"

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Well, Fuck Me Gently with a 10 foot barge pole.

Surprise or exclamation.

A long time not seeing a particularly good friend.

Hi John.

"Well, Fuck Me Gently with a 10 foot barge pole.",Bob, how you doing you old wanker.

Fine But, hows you.

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fuck me gently with a chainsaw

this phrase is used by heather chandler from heathers. its basically when you cant find a word strong enough to describe a situation and fuck doesnt work

person a: dude have you seen timmy? i lost him at the park a few days ago and his parents are coming back tomorrow. hes the kid im babysitting
person b: no i havent seen him
person a: fuck me gently with a chainsaw

fuck me gently with a chainsaw

a late 80's twist on 'gag me with a spoon' an expression of disgust, annoyance -or both. usually associated with young entitled females

you expect me to drink TAP water?? fuck me gently with a chainsaw.