Homeland Security Shitter

An individual who is characterized by an inability, or strong reluctance, to have a bowel movement in any location outside the individual's home.

Why is Grandpa Phil in such a hurry to leave the dinner?

I think he's a Homeland Security Shitter - nature is calling after the turkey dinner but he won't go here so he's in a hurry to drive back to Montreal.

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Homeland Security Advisory System

a system of fear tactics to keep the uninformed, ignorant, and resistant masses under the government's control. The System is divided into 5 risk levels; Severe, High, elevated, guarded, and low. its rarely Low because there is WMDs and "insurgents" in Iraq. It is really convenient to raise the alert before a political event where there may be protestors-I mean terrorists.

The Homeland Security Advisory System was raised to orange August 1, 2004 weeks before the GOP convention.

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