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The department within a business responsible for the progression of the company through people management. Usually hated by employees at lower levels due to managers passing on their dirty work i.e disciplinaries, firing and redundancies.
Manaer to employee:
Don't worry Jack, I'm the best manager in the world and I'll make sure you won't lose your job.
Manager to Human Resources Rep:
This Jack guy is a liabilaty. I need to get rid of him, will you dismiss him for me.
Jack to his friends:
My manager was great. He did everything he could to save my job but HR fired me. Fucking pricks!
190👍 65👎
The ugly chicks that fire you for fucking with the great looking chicks.
350👍 144👎
A fat ungly bitch who works in the HR departement of a company, and who thinks she's the boss of everyone, screaming and making scenes with other employees. This behaviour is due to the lack of self accomplishment she is experienceing.
(regular employee)"Hi Cindy, could you give me a empty type B form?"
(Human Resources bitch)"(yelling)What the fuck!? Can't you see I'm busy?(no she's not)?! Get your own fucking form!!!"
65👍 6👎
Generally a woman named Melinda or Judy that is single in her 40s (occasionally divorced in her late 50s), that wears a navy suit while researching and communicating health benefits. Other useless tasks endeavored include interviewing more qualified people then they are and facilitating sexual harassment trainings to those in the verge of bringing the company down with sexual exploitations of their admins.
"Hey Bill, Judy the human resource manager just arrived from Corporate. Who is getting fired?"
6👍 2👎
essex girls who run around making tea for everyone because there was no jobs left at MacDonalds.
This one time, at band camp, i shoved a lucozade bottle up my pussy. Arent bottles fun...
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A pompous job title self-servingly contrived by human resource (HR) "professionals" to be applied to themselves, obviously intended to justify the existence and further expansion of the HR function within business organizations. A further objective of this ruse appears to be propagation of the illusion that the HR function possesses a holistic grasp of broader strategic issues facing the organization enabling it to contribute expanded economic value and thereby providing justification for elevated compensation demands for HR staff.
A look at online job advertisements will confirm that the use of this title is spreading faster than a California wildfire, giving credence to the notion that this scheme was recently cooked up in some HR industry association initiative as a way to rebrand HR "professionals" as being more than the administrative paper pushers they, in fact, are.
The absurdity of this inflated moniker is further appreciated when one considers that no other functions appear to have widely implemented similar titles in their functions. For example, one seldom sees job postings for bizarre titles such as "engineering business partner", "sales business partner", or "legal business partner".
Castle: "Hey Russo, what's with that new idiotic title of yours I saw on LinkedIn? Human Resources Business Partner? You've got to be kidding me."
Russo: "Come on Frank, it's a title to reflect the greater value I bring to the business."
Castle: "Jesus, Billy, you and I both know you that you don't know a damn thing about business and that the only reason you’re in HR is because you flunked out of all the other departments."
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Someone by the name of xKSIxMELEE who can be contacted by fellow members of Force Brigade.
FHG Brainster should give this postion to such person.
Human Resource Officer begins with,"lets talk about your feelings".