I'll tell you when you're older

A phrase used when something can't be explained to a child

7-year-old: *catches adolescent brother watching porn* What is this?
Brother: I'll tell you when you're older.

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I'll Tell You that For Free

When a piece of information is so obvious that it's no skin off your nose to share it.

"How does this rank for you in playoff pushes, the excitement of this building and the fans' involvement over the last couple of games?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's been unbelievable. A whole lot better than Vancouver, I'll tell you that for free."

I'll tell thee that f'nowt

A typical Yorkshire phrase used mostly when arguing with someone.

Bob: Gi' Ore, you're bloody daft you are"
Jim: "And you're a complete wazzock, I'll tell thee that f'nowt!"