I'm going to sleep

When the person you're talking to or texting really does NOT want to talk to or text you.
It has to be late at night, otherwise it would make no sense whatsoever.

John: What's up?
Victoria: Not much, I'm going to sleep.

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i'm going to cum

Said during sex or masturbation to make it clear that you are going to orgasm.

"Oh god babe, I'm going to cum again. Harder, harder! Don't hold back, pound into my tight pussy hard and fast!" She demand while rubbing her clit faster.

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i'm going to bed

You're going to lie in the bed on your phone until you fall sleep

Girl: I said "goodnight I'm going to bed" like an hour ago but I'm still just here laying in bed on instagram

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I'm going to Joes

A phrase used when your friends bail out , or do not want to associate with you. So instead you find some hell hole to go to and waste your time there instead. Also can be used when something your working on does not work out right. The word Joes comes after a run down shit hole bar in Reading Pa, that contains nothing but trash.

Lindsey: Can you pick me up tonight to go to the bar.
Mike: No!
Lindsey: Fine I'm going to joes.

Alex: I can't get the car started.
Travis: Is it a Dead Battery?
Alex: Yes, I'm going to joes.

i'm going to sleep

I don't want to fucking text you

You: I love you
bae: I'm going to sleep

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I'm going to hell!

An exclamation many shout when they have done something worthy of going to Hell.

John: Hmmmm.... That was great last night sis!
Sister: Yeah, wanna go again?
John: Ok! I'm going to hell! So why shouldn't I live before I do!

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If it's snowing, then I'm going

When somebody goes somewhere because they heard white girls will be there.

(Mostly used by horny e-boys)

Are you going to the party?

If it's snowing, then I'm going.

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