Commonly thought to be a magnet program, International Baccalaureate is in reality a cleverly disguised plot implemented by Swiss lawn gnomes to steal the souls, sleep, and free wills of high school students. Pros include mad bs'ing skills.
Also see: Academic Suicide
I am, therefore I B
I B, therefore I stress
I stress, therefore IBS
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A dangerously fatal disease whose side effects include but are not limited to: A soulless existence, insomnia due to the persistent feeling of not having completely finished all work, a "brain-dead" state, a shattered self-esteem, a falsified interest in life as a result of TOK, an endless cycle of procrastination, which left untreated could lead to mental instability, insanity, or fatality.
"It was nice knowing Sujen," says Speaker 1
"The IB got the best of him...he fought so valiantly" says speaker 2
"He shall not be forgotten. May he rest in peace, and let the IB be eradicated before more perish" says speaker 3.
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IB the program which will end the earth because of all the paper it makes kids waste everyday for no reason. The main reason it is dying.
IB Teacher: Class I don't need you 12 page essays any more. I have no use for it.
Class of 30 throws away 360 pieces of paper away.
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irritable bowel syndrome (ibs) is highly embarrassing for those affected.
the slightest change of diet or sign of stress can cause immense shame, anxiety.
If you know someone who suffers from ibs reach out, show them you value their personality, tell them you will never judge them on their shit.
"honey, hows your ibs doing these days? you know i don't give a shit about your shit. lets have a funky shower and lie down now. what do you say?"
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A program created in an attempt to control the minds of the youths of the future, implemented by Swiss lawn gnomes, by preventing their exposure to the outside world.
The state goals of the program are to provide students with an education rounded out accross five program areas ("groups") - including Language 1, Language 2, Social Sciences, Science, Math, and Art/Option. Additional elements of the program include CAS (a system used to force students out of the house once in a while), ToK (philosophy) and Extended Essay.
In an attempt to shove too much information down the throats of students, the program ends up significantly improving the core skill required to succeed in IB: Bullshit. The phrase I.B. therefore I B.S. comes from this.
IB teaches students to turn shit into gold.
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A maleveloent programme whose objective is to destroy the race smart students . To go about this, the programme has many methods. The first method is to give superfluous homework. This tactic is used so that the student becomes too overwhelmed with homework that their brains fry into an abyss of nothingness. The second method consists of putting a burden of a 20 ton "backpack" on the students back, making them physically weak and unable to support their own body. Often, during this stage, the student complains of back problems and the development of spinal injury. The third method is to deprive the student of his/her sleep. This makes the students do poorly on their tests and final evaluations. The fourth method, the most evil, is that the program tricks its students into beleiving that they will get into any university they try for. Unfortunatley, several students fall for this. Lastly, to renforce the destruction of the smart, the program usually consists of biased teachers, overacheiving robots DISGUISED as IB students, 150 CAS hours to complete, mind-abolishing essays and useless confusing subjects like TOK.
IB student: "Wow, I FINALLY get to go to bed at 4:00AM! It's an early night!"
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if you are reading this definition you clearly already know what the ib is and you should get off the internet and start working because you have your tok, ee, ioc, iop, maths ia all due in -4 days and you promised you would spend the weekend helping out with global warming for cas. you havenβt even started your 27th econ ia, and youβre redoing your tok presentation next week so you iβm praying for you.
a-level student: iβve already got offers from my top 5 unis! i dont even need to work for the rest of the year
ib student: *busy researching dark magic for their ee and also in hopes that they can use it to pass*
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