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Jireh Monimus Sivilus Swift (1500-1501)
-A strange occurrence of the Renaissance in which a baby with the name above was born without fingernails, a butthole, or a suitable bladder for the human body. Born on the Marxic Equinox, the baby was thought to be "a weenie of Satan," which would today translate to "work of the Devil." This abomination of mammals was feasted upon by England's inhabitants to gain "supernatural powers," but ended up only passing down his devilish characteristics. In modern times, historians have found evidence that Jireh Monimus Sivilus Swift was actually a large potato that happened to be in a uterus, and was obviously mistaken for a child. This is how the term, "potato eater" was coined for poor peasants throughout history.
OH... you need to pee ALL the time, I bet your family ate Jireh Monimus Sivilus Swift.
"You know, that potato i served for dinner could be Jireh Monimus Sivilus Swift"-Dad
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something that does not have an explanation
that's a jireh moment right there