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General term for 4 towns in southeastern Nassau county, Long island.
The Hamlet of Massapequa: westernmost town, the largest one, anywhere west of the high school.
The Hamlet of North Massapequa: northernmost (duh), anywhere north of Jerusalem avenue, most kids go to plainedge or farmingdale schools.
The Hamlet of East Massapequa: easternmost town, the poorest, officially anywhere east of the high school, more often just anywhere east of the middle school (which is sometimes called West Amityville). The West Amityville part is a bit more diverse, a lot poorer, and the kids go to Amityville schools.
The Village of Massapequa Park: in the center of everything, the smallest, probably the richest, officially the area containing the high school, more often inflated to being anywhere east of the high school and west of the middle school. The “downtown” of the Massapequa is within this town.
Massapequa more often just refers to the are covered by the Massapequa School District, which is all of Massapequa and Massapequa Park, 2/3 of East Massapequa, and a very small portion of North Massapequa
Massapequa is full of hot girls, sportsy douchebags, and a whole lot of drug addicts. Geeks are almost nonexistent, as are ugly girls. Massapequa hates Farmingdale and Lindenhurst, spits on Amityville, and is friends with Seaford and Wantagh.
Person A: Are u a rich italian?
Person B: Yes, I Am.
Person A: u must be from one of those massapequa places!
Person B: Yes, I Am
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Massapequa: Never will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Massapequa is an inferno of physical and psychological torture, a haven for overt and promiscuous sexuality, and a harbor for everything illegal, immoral, and incompetent. This god-forsaken place is a source of intrinsic evil, and has been classified into the following categories: 1. Social Anarchy and Stereotypical transformations 2. Academic Inadequacy 3. Overt Sexual activity 4. Incomparable drug use
1. Social Anarchy: Probably the most palpable problem with Massapequa. Massapequa is plagued by ethnic stereotypes( commonly represented by clothing and diction). These upper-middle class white kids like to misrepresent themselves in this atrocious fabrication of their actual lifestyles. This false lifestyle is evident in the "wigger." Then, once one gets past the visible barbarity of these people, one can also see the social schisms within each grade. Jocks( lax, football), emos, goths, preppies, musicians, and the geeks( an outdated term I like to replace with the "awkward intellectual"). The cliques are divided and are in constant yet silent warfare. However, those abominations carry into private sector , not just within the school and public life. The places to hangout are few and far between, namely the Seaford Movie Theater, the Southgate shopping center, "in-Town", and the public parks. This results in illegal activity, more commonly vandalism and underage drinking( an immense category in which I will devout more analysis to later). Another aspect of social anarchy in Massapequa is the overemphasis of youth athletics. This is composed of parents who are trying to live vicariously through their own children. The cult of youth athletics is manifested in CYO basketball, travel football, and lax.
2. Academic inadequacies: The vast and incompetent school district is incapable of a variety of tasks including the safety of their students and faculty, the instillment of discipline and respect, the enforcement of school rules, and the basic principles of teaching amongst their faculty. One of the causes for these problems is the large number of students in massapequa. The school district can't protect their teachers (ie: Berner librarian mugged) . The students have little to no respect for their teachers, but these teachers are so unenthusiastic in their pathetic excuses for professions that they don't deserve respect. Also, the school authority's attempt to limit drug use is comical. For example, at Berner the seventh graders were shooting heroine as the eighth graders were freebasing cocaine in the school bathrooms. Although I cannot comment on descriptions of "The High school", I can confirm from reliable first hand accounts that it is nothing more than a legalized playground with pretenses of education.
3. Overt Sexuality: Hedonism is anchored in Massapequa. Sexual activity is promoted and promulgated through all levels of this society. STD's are more widespread than their complete indifference for moral standards. Because of a lack of any interests or hobbies, their boredom in school is where their appetite for fornication is manifested.
4. Incomparable Drug Use: Drinking and Drugs are used wildly in Massapequa. As early as 7th grade, drinking and drugs become an integral factor in a Massapequan's lifestyle. Who cares what we're drinking, cause it gives us a distraction from our meaningless suburban lives! I hereby decree Massapequa as the Beer Pong Capital of the World, and I find it too funny that some of you will take that as a compliment.
In conclusion, I would like to spare the few people of Massapequa who have retained a shred of decency in this hell infested with corruption and fault. To those who have overcome the veil of degradation seen in Massapequa, Stay Strong! And may All American continue to sell the world's best fast food for many years to come.
"To determine the winner of this football game, let's have your loudest parent yell at our loudest parent, and who ever is the loudest wins," says the Massapequa parent.
"let's see how many STD's I can get this weekend bro"
"Let's see how many beers I can chug before I'm hospitalized."
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Town in Nassau county filled with little turds that hit \"redefine\" instead of \"add definition\" just to piss off the people that bad mouth their town =D
\"Damn that was a good joke played on me, must have been someone from Massapequa, the greatest town in the universe\"
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This town has the fucking most amazing kids, north of sunrise, and the south side is full of fucking whores who start giving their boyfriends head at the age of 12. They're choice saying "Who cares if we're sluts, your just jealous because your boyfriends like us & we have money."
The southside (aka Lockhart and East Lake) and full of amazing kids who dont give a shit about what the whores in Unqua say.
So to sum it all up.....
South side - shit heads.
North side- most amazing kids ever
Massapequa crushes Farmingdale in everything
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A town that is very nice for the most part. The most scumiest area is between south of sunrise and north of merrick road where the houses are falling apart and are dirty. Theese kids definetly don't have a bmw or a nice newly built modeled house like the kids south of merrick rd and north of sunrise highway.
Massapequa is pretty gross north of merrick road
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Massapequa.. i mean it's fun sometimes but you can't forget. You have the assholes, jerks, bitches, sluts, BULLYS. It's horrible. That group that everyone calls "popular" no one cares about them anymore in highschool but they still think they're the shit, so they bully people and talk shit, and embarrass you and anything to make your life hell if you annoy them. Even if they have no idea who you are.. The girls are the worst, there is 80% of girls who are pure BITCH, stuck up & nasty. a fuckin bully too.. Most of the pequa girls are all sluts, literally. Biggest slut town. The guys, again the ones who think they're the "shit" are the assholes. When the stare you down, and they talk shit, bully you, just do stupid shit. Yea, that's pequa alright. I live here and I hate it. I'm pretty up there but still it sucks. OH AND half of pequa is all talk, specially the class of 2015. they won't do shit to you. but yea, this town sucks...
Massapequa people are mean
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