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Our Lord and Savior President Barack Hussein Obama the most merciful.
Obama Wednesday, June 04, 2008:
"This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal."
Finally the chosen one; our Messiah is here to heal the planet and to spread the wealth around!
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A guy who will bring peace to the world and blah blah blah.
People think Jesus is the Messiah and king of Jews, which is retarded cause all he brought was war and pain, centuries after, like when Christians blamed Jews for Jesus' death and they were to ignorant to realize All of Jesus' disciples were Jewish, not Just Judas, and they didn't just kill Jews. They killed Muslims, Native Americans, and anyone else who didn't follow their faith. And He isn't the King of the Jews. God is the King of the Jews.
1. Christian from the Middle Ages: Thou shalt go to Hell because your a Jew! Now don't give this Jew any respect because he killed Jesus, the Messiah! KILL HIM!
Jew from the Middle Ages: I am simply trying to make a living as a farmer and meanwhile crusaders come and kill my family after raping my wife and daughter. WHAT DID I DO??
2. Christian from the 20th century: Hey, ain't you a Jew?
Jew from the 20th century: Problem?
Christian from the 20th century: YOU KILLED JESUS!!!
Jew from the 20th century: No, I didn't.
Christian from the 20th century: Yea you did!
Jew from the 20th century: Go away.
3. Christian in the 21st century: Hi, would you like to be a Christian?
Jew from the 21st century: No.
Christian in the 21st century: But Jesus will save you. THANK THA LORD!
Jew from the 21st century: Um...goodbye..
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1. boring Christian college in the middle of Pennsylvania (aka nowhere) where kids know in saying their college name that they will automatically get pitied and/or mad sympathy from other college friends of theirs that rock out every weekend (or even just ponder the idea of hanging out with the opposite sex on say...a THURSDAY?! wtf...) Parents love the idea, kids know if a college has a nickname for Jesus in the title, the college has to be a ball breaker.
SCENARIO 1-
(Someone's mom): "So Jimmy, what college are you going to?"
Jimmy: "Messiah College mam."
Mom: "Oh that's lovely, soo lovely. You'll have such a nice time and make lots of nice friends."
SCENARIO 2-
(Someone normal) "Todd": "Dude, where do you go?"
Jimmy: "Um...well...I go to school in PA."
Todd: "Where in Pennsylvania?"
Jimmy: "Um..you've probably never heard of it..."
Todd: "Come on, I'm sure I have."
Jimmy:"Well...Messiah College?"
Todd: "Damn..."
Jimmy: "Yeah."
----silence-----
Jimmy: "I know...."
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The Jewish word given to the saviour of the world, was thought to be Jesus (who was actually an Arab Magician). One of the most famous uses of the word messiah was in Monty Python's: The Life of Brian were Brian is mistaken to be the messiah of Jerusalem.
crowd: "Show us the Messiah!"
Mum: "Its a mess up here but there is no Messiah!"
crowd: "BRIAN! Show us Brian"
Mum: "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy, now go away!"
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Rachel Maddow is my Messiah.
Audience: "Show us the Messiah!"
The One True Dog: "Its a mess up here but there is no Messiah!"
Audience: "RACHEL! Show us Rachel!"
The One True Dog: "She's not the Messiah, she's a very naughty girl, now go away!"
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A cocky bastard who mains highlander and says he isn’t op but that beard
Hey did you see that poes messiah
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He is an amazingly stinking nigga
Tyrone: You Kno Messiah
Tyrese: Yeah he smells like ass
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