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country voted to have the least sexy accent in the world. the men's voices sound as if their voice box has been pushed to the back of their neck.
the people of new zealand get upset easily. they will often try to start fights, especially with australians who just laugh and wonder why new zealanders get so angry.
the reason new zealanders get angry is because it is a matriachal society and women are hypnotised by a small group of women to never have sex. the reason for this is power of course, but it has nasty side effects - everyone knows that a man who doesn't get any, is irritable and tries to pick fights with their neighbours.
the only men that do get sex, are the sons of the abovementioned small group of women, and they are fucked by their mothers from a young age. these guys are extremely proud as you can see from a lot of the posts here. just walk the streets of a new zealand city any time and you'll know what i mean.
australian tourist in new zealand: excuse me, sorry to bother you. do you have the time?
new zealander: the time? what the fuck did you say to me? new zealand would waste australia.
tourist: *sigh*
1639👍 363👎
a small hole of an island lying of Australia. Infested with sheep and other vermin.
New Zealand is a perfect sight for Atomic Weapons testing
1097👍 246👎
An insignificant group of islands in the South Pacific inhabited by 55 million sheep, 4.5 million of which think they are human.
American: "Are you British?"
New Zealander: "Nah mate, I'm from New Zealand."
American: *blank stare*
English bartender: "What's it to be guv?"
New Zealander: "A pint of lager thanks."
English bartender: "I see your cricketers beat us in the Ashes again."
2469👍 607👎
A place where you will find many sheep and no black people
tourist: where are the black people?
New Zealand: theres no such thing
715👍 166👎
A place where absolutely nothing happens. The most boring place in the world. Great to live in if your 70, retired and want a life of serenity and sheep, but not if your a youth looking for excitement. Seriously don't come to New Zealand if you want to have fun!
Tourist: "I spend two weeks in New Zealand."
Friend: "Oh yeah? What'd you do there? Any crazy stories?"
Tourist: "Well the most exciting thing that happened was this one cow looked at me as I got close. The others didn't you see..."
Friend: "Dude...That is the lamest story ever"
627👍 146👎
A useless country which the natives (Maoris) believed they "fished up". Well known to get down and dirty with its sheep population.
New Zealand History (Maori POV): Aw bro, did ya know that we fished up da North Island? It was sweet as cuz...
580👍 137👎
New Zealand is roughly around 2220 KM's from the greatest country on earth..... Australia. Some people mistake the name New Zealand for "Australia Junior" but Australia is better in so many ways. For starters, the word bro isn't chucked around after every sentence, we don't have sheep constantly around us, we can pronounce words such as six, fish and chips and rich without saying "sux, fush and chups and ruch". In conclusion, Australians do it better
"Let's go to New Zealand for a holiday"
"Nah I don't feel like rooting sheep, lets go to Australia"
506👍 137👎