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Northport

Northport is a relatively wealthy village in the Huntington township located on the north shore of Long Island. The generally agreed upon characterization of Northport is that it mostly doesn't suck, because due to a number of highly industrious marijuana dealers, there is a healthy supply of purple, king and afghan kush. Also grapefruit haze was here last year, that was good. Every so often cocaine comes to town and that becomes a thing. Coke epidemics have sometimes started on the basis of someone coming back from college with an O and moving it around town. But mostly the drug of choice is weed, and among the more dedicated stoners, acid.

Generally, Northport is an expensive place to live, with housing prices being driven up on the basis that we only have 35 black people, and when a new one arrives everyone is quick to notice and take down their plates. Mostly, the people here live without too much worry about the helter skelter race wars, though some of the smarter ones do.

In the 30's, Antoine de Saint-Exupery lived in a house by Wyatt, and in 1950-ish Jack Kerouac got drunk in a bar in Northport. Then in 1984, Ricky Kasso cut a kid's eyes out and then choked him to death with gravel. To this day people are stilled wowed in the poon about that. He is recognized for his popularization of the drugs LSD and mescaline, as well as making it less gay to listen to Judas Priest.

During the year, there is little meaningful activity to do in Northport. During the day one can fish, swim or windsurf, but at night if you're under 21 and can't get politely inebriated at the Wine Bar or the Yacht Club, your time is best spent getting beligerently inebriated and breaking mailboxes or playing the choking game. Those who live dangerously might venture out into neighboring East-Northport, which is actually south of Northport, but calling themselves South-Northport would just make the people that live there feel like even more of a marginalized and lower class subdivision of Northport, so for the sake of their mental health, town planners made a concerted decision to rely on its slightly eastward positioning, rather than its more obvious southward positioning, when choosing the name.

Northport High School is a central aspect of Northport life, being made up of a large population of over achievers, a few genuinely intelligent people, and an overall air of superiority that makes us 100% sure we can beat you up, though we only really have a 40:60 chance that's in your favor. Our students tend to win Intel Prizes etc. with the intellectual atmosphere being dominated by IB students who think they're really intelligent, but they mostly just work extremely hard so they can end up in a research position at a university where they will be unhappy, while people who do less work and get a business management degree from Hofstra will do marginally better for themselves and be much more satisfied with their family/sex lives.

I just bought a house in Northport, because, I figure, with the relatively small Negro population, aggressively strong strains of Haze, and nationally ranked school system, my children can get into Binghamton and do decently for themselves.

by man blewha April 12, 2009

38๐Ÿ‘ 34๐Ÿ‘Ž


Northport

A town on the north shore of long island nice park shitty high school nothing to do their but smoke weed get into fight yell YOLO or #swag 2012 or # fucking everything because people in that school cont talk like human they need facebook twitter and tumblr and texting to talk and talk shit since no one can say shit to each others face anymore, the boys are like short with shaved heads and big puffy Northface jackets one like they live in the hood but they live in the cleanest place on earth, the girls are rich snobby and just like to tease guys into thinking they will get something a relationship only lasts 3-7 days between bay and girl unless you find someone who is real (not in this town) people who live in the (Grids) or 1-10th avenue think they are bad asses if you are a senior you have the privileged of walking though the commons with your big foam cup from the deli and have all the jackass kids write yolo yolo yolo YOLO!!!!!! on it becouse you are all so cool! and also have you key lanyard hang out of you left back pocket that tags you as a senior all the girls try and compete with each other about who's boobs are perpendicular to there face and who's ass is bigger and who has a tattoo above their vagina the town is full rich assholes who frown upon the encroachment of minority family or people who don't drive a BMW a Cadillac , or a Benz

i went to northport to get a luberjack and came back with a MILF

by NPThaters January 26, 2012

18๐Ÿ‘ 14๐Ÿ‘Ž


Northport

YOLO~ers who do and say nothing besides go downtown, and go on facebook signaling their signature YOLO. Northport highschool has everything from creepy cubbys to orange whores.

Dude i was YOLO-ing the other day, and that cubby walked over and told me she was gonna cut me, damn northport

That chick looks like shes from the Chocolate Factory

by NoYOLO~ April 17, 2011

23๐Ÿ‘ 25๐Ÿ‘Ž


east northport

A town on Long Island that lies South of Northport. South Northport sounded stupid, hence: said town name. For lack of a better definition, I bring you an analogy: Northport is like San Francisco: more wealthy, more gays, more hippies, and more hills. East Northport is like Los Angeles: an immense mexican population, korean population, heroin addict population, and the terrain is much much flatter.

"I'm from East Northport!"
"Oh, so you're... you're a druggie...."

by signo December 30, 2006

113๐Ÿ‘ 92๐Ÿ‘Ž


East Northport

A very small town located in the middle of many other larger towns in Suffolk County, Long Island. East Northport has no school district and its children are divided among many other districts. E.Northport in fact, is not East of Northport making it a very great place to be ironic. East Northport is home to the great Larkfield road and is just minutes away from everything the gem of Long Island can hold.

I live in East Northport. Where is it? Um... it's next to Commack or um, Northport....it's in Huntington, how about that, it's in Huntington

by E.northport girl January 2, 2006

40๐Ÿ‘ 79๐Ÿ‘Ž


East Northport

A small hamlet in the Town of Huntington on the North Shore of Long Island. The area now known as East Northport was originally known as Larkfield. When the Long Island Railroad decided to expand it's branch to Port Jefferson, they relocated the Northport train station to it's current location on Larkfield road. They chose to keep the name as Northport, and rename the original station Old Northport. Conductors would refer to the new station as "East Northport" because the station was east of the original Northport. Eventually the Old Northport station was closed, and the spur removed (you can still follow it, along BOCES, through the woods, and the station was where the lumber yard is just past 25a). The name "East Northport" stuck and replaced Larkfield.

East Northport shares it's schools with neighboring Northport. Despite having a Northport Address, Northport High School technically sits on East Northport land. There is a small pocket of residents that live west of Elwood road in East Northport that have to drive right past Pulaski Road Elementary School and go to Dickinson Avenue Elementary School, which is also in East Northport. Dickinson Avenue Elementary School gradutes students to Northport Middle School, further confusing the mess.

The cost of living in East Northport is much lower than living in Northport, although some areas are much nicer than other areas in Northport.

East Northport extends from 25a to the north, Town Line to the east, Elwood to the west, and Jericho Turnpike to the south. East Northport is home to the "Grids" which are nothing more than tiny houses on tiny lots jammed in next to each other.

East Northport is home to such fine establishments such as Larkfield Lanes, Wendy's, both 7-elevens, and an awesome dollar store.

The East Northport Public Library was the first Library in the nation to include a cafe.

East Northport's a better place to live than Northport.

by Brian April 20, 2009

28๐Ÿ‘ 58๐Ÿ‘Ž


East Northport

Small town actually South of Northport on Long Island. sometiems referred to "enopo"- cute little town where the majority of the people get high; the grades get low; and when someone has a secret, everyone knows. many small shops and cool stores. the best place on earth. home of the famouos "Grids" where everyone thinks theyre badass for living in (even though theyre not)

where do you live? East Northport grids. oh **your cool** I know the grids are ill! not really unless you like mexicans and small houses.

by livb22222 November 29, 2010

8๐Ÿ‘ 46๐Ÿ‘Ž