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One of the states on the United States that has planned to not only take over the United States, but has planned to fucking demolish the world too.
If you live in Kansas, you'll have enough time to hug your loved one before Ohio comes...
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Hello guys welcome to Ohio this looks normal!
*bus falls on man*
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Fucking bipolar i tell yuh.
You get all 4 seasons in 1 week.
Everyone is depressed and fucking assholes because of the damn weather.
Its 80 degrees and sunny on monday and on tuesday its 30 degrees and snowing.
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DISMAL SEEPAGE a short history
1860 Akron creates K12 ironically plagiarized from Prussia
1890 American toy America's first statue of Santa Claus. It's blue
1895 ABC RR longest electric train route in the world. 43 die Doodlebug wreck. 2 survive driver and conductor jump to avoid burning/drowning
1899 1st cop car electric top speed 16mph easy escape by foot
1910-20 Akron fastest growing U.S. city. 2018 Ohio has 6 of top 20 cities losing population more than any other state. EVERY DAY since 1960 CLE loses 5 people + 1 Akronite.
Prohibition ends 1933. AA begins in Akron 1935
1934 Soap box derby yeah it's still a thing
1945 Alan Freed "rock and roll" actually a shoeless hillbilly bussed in from West Va to work in the tire plant. Cheated Chuck Berry out of royalties claiming to have written "Maybelline"
1949 national TV evangelism star Rex Humbard begins bilking seniors
1962 Art Modell Browns owner suffers for 30 years without a league title after firing Paul Brown ending their dynasty. He had won 7 in 17 years. Moves team to Baltimore and wins Super Bowl XXXV. Cleveland Browns not a thing 1996-1998
Cuyahoga river burns. This has happened 13 times starting in 1868. 5 people burned to death in 1912
LeBron got the hell out and won 2 for Miami. Came back to win 1 for Cleveland - got the hell out again
SERIAL KILLERS - Ariel Castro, Mike Madison, Sam Sheppard, Ed Edwards, Gary Heidnik, John Demjanjuk, Bob Berdella, Dahmer, Cleveland torso murderer, Tony Sowell
Stuck in Ohio - this is actually a common bumper sticker as is FRBR - for rednecks by rednecks. If they only knew what FUBU means.
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Doesn't exist
Jim: Hey! We're going on a trip to Ohio.
Dan: Where? Never heard of it...
Jim: Look it up on Google, dipshit.
Dan: I did, it 404'd.
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A land of shifting mists, Ohio is the most mysterious state in America. There are some who claim that it does not exist at all, but is merely a hoax perpetrated by a strong core of dedicated jokesters in the "neighboring" states of Michigan, Pennsylvania, Indiana, and West Virginia (we're pretty sure no one tells Kentucky anything).
Most people believe, however, that Ohio DOES in fact exists, and that its mystery is due solely to the mysterious mists that seem to enshroud the entirety of the state in...well...mystery, deterring all but the most stalwart of travelers. Constituents to this belief also hold that Ohio is, in fact, the last home of the dinosaurs, and that Ohioan economy is based almost solely on quarrying and agricultural works using highly-trained dinosaurs as the primary (and literal) beasts of burden.
Someone from Michigan: Ha! Those suckers on the East Coast actually think Ohio exists!
Someone from Pennsylvania: Actually, it does...it's just mysterious, you didn't even realize it was there. You know, what with all the enigmatically swirling mists and all...
Someone from Indiana: Really?!
Someone from West Virginia: Oh yeah, definately. A dinosaur from Ohio ate my sister, actually.
Someone from Kentucky: Oh, hey guys! What's going on?
The Other Four People: Oh...nothing...You know...
Someone from Kentucky: Cool! You want to hang out?
The Other Four People: *evasive mumbles*
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