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A person who utilizes Youtube and Wikipedia in order to garner as much palatable information on subjects within the realm of physics as possible. Possibly for personal interest but more commonly used for 4 AM post-party diatribes about how we're all connected and the ancient shamans were right.
Most often using 'Quantum' physics for their purposes, as it is the most subjective branch and easy to bullshit the uneducated about.
Stephen: So you're interested in physics?
Dave: Yeah, a bit. I'm an Armchair Physicist.
I found Dave up again when I left for work this morning. He'd been watching something on Youtube and kept going on about how dark matter means we're all just in a computer simulation. That guy needs to get a job.
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Q: So you're a engineering physicists? Does that make you more of an engineer or a physicist?
A: Neither.
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Contrary to the other definition, a theoretical physicist is actually a masochist who spends years trying to figure out some shit that mankind won't find useful until long after he's dead. More likely though, he will be left as a fleeting memory in the minds of apathetic and high high school students.
Student 1: duude. relativity n shit is weird as fuck. i dont know who made it, porbably some theoretical physicist
Student 2: I think it was Newton
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a physicist bitch is a girl capable of thought and reason.
Damn this physicist bitch knows how to read!
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A sadist who creates impossible equations for experimenters to solve
Theoretical physicists are the one guy in the office who makes an impossible deadline for an impossible task.
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A jackass from California
That computational physicist went to M.I.T
Man who studies h-energy and makes $1000000 a minute.
Person 1: Hey did you hear about the H-Physicist?
Person 2: H-Physicist?
Person 1: The guy who works with h-energy.