Smif

A vaguely Northern term that is defined purely by context.

In essence smif means whatever the fuck you want whenever the fuck you want wherever the fuck you want.

Christophorus eats a slice of cake:

"This cake is fucking smif m8"

Smiffed

To miss an easy opportunity

I was through on goal and smiffed it

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smif

Stands for 'sorry my internet failed' when instant messaging with a friend over the internet. Most commonly used after the user rejoins the conversation, having lost internet connection for a short while beforehand due to their shitty internet service provider.

"how's everything going?"
*other person is offline*
*other person comes back online*
"smif =/"
"it's cool"

or used as a verb:
- my internet smiffed
- i have a feeling i'm going to smif in a moment, my internet's been dodgy all day!

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smif'

an abbreviation for the hand gun ,Smith and Wesson..

Yo!..That fool tried to yank me so I pulled out the smif' and let off!

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smif

1. A firearm, usually semiautomatic. Also can be a pistol.
2. One of the rappers in the rap duo "Smif-n-Wessun", most famous for the song "Bucktown".

Person 1: Man you better be careful in that neighborhood.
Person 2: Don't worry about me, I'm good as long as I got my smif at my side.

Person 1: Rap today sucks, do you know any good rap artists?
Person 2: Yeah man, check out some stuff from smif n wessun, theyre pretty tight.

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smiffed

to get owned.

usually followed with the word 'shame!'

mr.scott got smiffed last week.

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Smifs

A rather maths level dedicated to pure retards who struggle to put 2 and 2 together. The class is in the year groups of year 11 and 12. The classes Usually consists of People named mick d and zach hensby.

“ hey Zach we have smifs, let’s not be late as we learning our time stables “