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Matthew chapters 5-7.
Where Jesus said many important and incredible things, like: "if someone takes your cloak, give them your tunic also," "be the salt and light of the earth," don't boast when you give to the poor and don't pursue revenge--etc, etc.
e.g. "Mother Teresa really took the sermon on the mount seriously."
When a female is riding cowgirl and screaming coherent biblical terms, or terms related to religion, as if she was giving a sermon.
This girl was riding me and just broke out a sermon on the mount.
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a church sermon, that last's no more than 30 minutes, so that church going men, can make it to the TV before the game starts.
Brother Rick gave a ballgame sermon this Sunday, so I caught the kick off at the Cowboys game.
The act of having sex, before 6 PM, on a Sunday.
Guy 1: "We don't usually have sex on a Sunday, but when we do, it's a Sunday Sermon."
Guy 2: "Ah man, I love a good Sunday Sermon."
a complaint that a women gives a man before they "go to bed"
Man, my old lady gave me a curtain sermon last night.
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When you have asked someone what something is and they respond by giving you more details of it, when only you wanted to know what it is.
Man1: Do you have a spare cigarette?
Man2: No, but smoking causes cancer and it smells and it's bad for others from second smoking and you will die.
Man1: I didn't ask for a sermon I asked for a cigarette.
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The only truly enjoyable part of the whole church-attendance experience (well, besides the ice cream Sunday, perhaps); that's why everyone's smiling as they exit the church --- they didn't actually enjoy being cooped up in a sweltering stuffy musty chapel for two long boring hours; they're just so relieved that it's finally over and they can go outside again.
I hear people happily praising the preacher on what a great service it was as they file out of the church,. but for most of them, it's just post-sermon relief --- the only thing they're actually happy about is that the service didn't last longer than it did!!