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Someone who gets roped into doing extensive data analysis - usually on behalf of a superior who isn't smart enough to do the work himself.
I was supposed to go to the convention but I got roped into being a spreadsheet monkey instead
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An micromanagement technique whereby the micromanager generates an infinite stream of spreadsheets, mostly containing a hodgepodge of data, each purported to document and store a specific part of an employee's work output.
The employee is required to fill out blanks in the spreadsheet instead of remaining engaged in useful work.
The intent of the micromanager is to to attain control over all knowledge, gaining a sense of omnipotence. The inevitable end result is that spreadsheet maintenance becomes the only work performed.
Today I'm filling out one of his spreadsheets documenting my hourly work output. I'm really getting tired of Management by Spreadsheet.
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(V.) When a girl lays sideways on a bed and you spread her legs vertically while ramming the shit out of her.
I totally helped your mom make an Excel Spreadsheet yesterday.
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A phase made popular through a fight between husband and wife where the husband detailed all of her rejections and responses to invitations for sex in a spreadsheet. Widely considered a relationship WMD. Related "sending him the spreadsheet", "making up the spreadsheet"
"Hey I heard Felicia and Joe broke up, what happened?"
"She got the spreadsheet man"
"Aww hell"
"Thats what I said"
Derogatory term for the grand strategy genre of video games. These games require a significant amount of resource management that boils down to maintaining a macro economy through numbers alone. Spreadsheet simulator can also refer to another kind of strategy game such as an RTS or 4X game as long as resource management is integral to the gameplay.
For fuck's sake, all of the Paradox Interactive games are spreadsheet simulators!
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Similar to writer's block but for spreadsheet dorks rather than writing dorks. Having trouble or being completely unable to begin a spreadsheet because you cannot envision how the analysis needs to look.
John: "I need to get this analysis done for my boss but I can't figure out how to get started...total spreadsheet block."
Dave: "You're a fucking dork!"
The culmination of a series of spreadsheets that contain absolutely useless data that required a multitude of hours and days to compile. The time spent can be considered a incremental loss of precious time in your life.
I wasted four days on that fucking spreadsheet lovefest!
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