Fig Newton

A mediocre guy either in looks, personality, or both. And although he is average in every way, he thinks he is basically Ryan Reynolds.
While they may stay fig newtons forever it is possible for them to transform into something…like an Oreo…..or even a chocolate chip cookie.
While they are rare, fig newtons can also be female.

Examples: Jeff and Lester from the TV show Chuck
Dwight from the office.

Frollo from Hunchback of Norte Dame
Farquad from Shrek
Prince Charming from Shrek 2
Hans from Frozen
J’son (Starlord’s ‘Dad’) from Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice (honorable mention Mr. Wickham)

Yeah, we talked a bit. But, he was a bit of a fig Newton so I’m not interested.

Oh, nah! He a fig newton.

He got that fig newton haircut.

He talks like a fig newton.

He was the figgiest of newtons.

Fig Newtons

A term for marijuana.

Chris: Hey dude, you wanna eat some Fig Newtons later?
Zak: Sure!

27👍 18👎

Fig Newton

Someone who has hippie tendencies and beliefs. Often referred to as, granola, tree hugger, earth warrior, or all natural

That stanky hoe is so fig newton, she needs a bath.

fig newton

a word often used to refer to black and mild cigars because they taste somewhat of the fig newton cookie

i wish this fig newton would never end

21👍 15👎

fig newtons

The greatest cookies on the face of the earth, since cookies were put on the face of the earth! It's a good way of getting your little one's into eating fruit too!

Hey Andi, I'm going to Albee Motors to get a new truck. Wanna come? You can bring Ivy Rose I hear she's a good little Peekie}.
Okay Dave, I'll come. I can eat some Fig Newtons in the waiting room and maybe some Twizzlers if some are available.

43👍 58👎

fig newton

A man that is considered soft or a sissy. "Fruit and Cake"

Look at that bitch made fig newton.

27👍 37👎

Fig newton

When an uncircumcised person fucks a girl in
the ass, then proceeds to take their dick out.
After doing this, they move the foreskin
foreward, and if there's poop inside, it
should resemble a fig newton.

James: yo bro I fucked this girl and when I
pulled out, there was poop in my foreskin.
John: damn bro she fig newtoned you!