butterfly kidnappers

i swear to god if you see a butterfly you better run and hide they are coming to get you. they take you to their secret lair and turn you into a butterfly they are trying to take over the world.

person 1: OMFG ITS A BUTTERFLY!!

person 2: Well, it looks like its gonna kidnap us i guess we're gonna die i never liked you anyway.

person 1: wow okay thats just amazing jerry you know what?? SCREW YO--*gets kidnapped by butterfly

butterfly: teehee

butterfly kidnappers:

Gyro-Pedo Kidnapper

Someone who is both an extreme Pedophile and Gyrosexual. A Gyro-pedo kidnapper will kidnap small children, ppaint them green and use them for sexual pleasure until they reach the age of consent. when the children reach the age of consent they will be released deep in the wilderness of Africa where they will learn to mine salt.

Person1: Matthew I'm beginning to think you are a Gyro-Pedo Kidnapper
Matthew: why would you think that?
Person1: because of all the green children chained in your basement with enlarged assholes

My kidnapper ate my traffic

When you try to think of an excuse

Why am I late? uhhh, uhhhh, my kidnapper ate my traffic