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The act of ejaculating in ones hand, then open hand slapping your partner with the same hand.
Joe: Dude did you hear Alabama scored 65 points last night.
Me: No I didnt, but i scored an alabama hand warmer.
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A slang term for a female whose vaginal muscles are loose enough to allow for the insertion of entire hand. Normally used as a derogatory term implying promiscuity.
Man I got with Angel last night, that chick is a real Texas hand warmer.
Warming your hands by placing them within close proximity of your balls. Pants must be used for maximum effect (otherwise, you're just fondling your balls).
This comes from the East Asian tradition of warming your hands with your balls.
"Dude, it is so freezing out here. I'm gonna stick my hands down my pants." - Person A
"Don't you mean to pull an asian hand warmer?" - Person B
"Yeah sure whatever." - Person A
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When a man takes a large amount of Crisco and lathers his hands. Next he inserts both hands into a woman's vagina or anus. This is a Russian hand warmer!
1. "Dude, last night I gave this girl the best Russian hand warmer!"
"Bro, I'll bet it was tight!"
"Not as much as you'd think.."
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to jack off with blubber in negative degrees farenheit weather.
Man, it was so cold I had to give my self an alaskan hand warmer!
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A full bag of fresh dog poop on a cold morning.
My two dogs provide a most adequate poor man’s hand warmer.
ANOTHER term for beatin' the meat. When you get out a hand warmer, you normally shake it real hard so it will warm up faster. Kind of same emphasis with the meat part.
John: Oh my god, Alex, your face is so red! And you're out of breath! And there's a stain on the carpet! What did you DO!?
Alex: Oh, you know. I was just shaking the hand warmer.
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