Random
Source Code
Random
An excuse for people you barely know or like to invite you to spend a fortune on them and fawn over them for a whole day. Sometimes they will give you expensive wedding lists and yet get away with feeding you Asti Spumanti and mild cheese sandwiches.
Once invited to the wedding it is a downhill spiral into debt and having to buy summery dresses in the winter, and an expensive gift that you know that you cannot afford and that they will never use.
"so how come you can't afford that new BMW 3 series?"
" I have been invited to a wedding and have to save up for the gift"
50👍 16👎
Event in which on receives severe physical, and mental suffering. One may receive taunts such as a baby crib or ring. Such events have been known to cause drug addictions, hoarding, cancer, the Middle Eastern Revolutions of 2011, mutation, diabetes, depression, brain damage, lay offs, sweatshops, global warming, and even death.
Phil had a wedding. Phil accidentally shot himself the next day.
25👍 7👎
A huge waste of time and money.
This wedding will be so expensive.
94👍 32👎
a spiffy ceremony in which two people get married only to divorce/kill eachother a year later.
"when i say shotgun, you say wedding"
591👍 253👎
(n)- an 8 day week in which two male wedding attendies deny themselves sleep, non-alcoholic beverages, and any sembelence of anything that could even remotely be described as "civilized behaivor"... in order to out party, out-drink, and out do any other attendee of said wedding. If texans are present, they leave in shame.
Peter: Dude, remember the wedding?
Rob: Kind of... i remember being awesome for like a week.
Peter: sweet. i uh, don't remember. Anything.
9👍 2👎
The process of removing one's weeds from one's garden
Websters defines a wedding as "The process of removing one's weeds from one's garden." - Homer Simpson
197👍 123👎
The most important day of a woman’s life. A day invented by women for women, planned since their early childhood, to eventually rob a man of half his life savings he has worked his entire adult life to achieve. Immediately after a woman accepts her alleged Prince Charming boyfriend’s proposal, her estrogen immediately turns her into a bridezilla and she goes into high gear calling her mother and friends, reads every issue of Modern Bride Magazine to get ideas for her dress, the bridesmaids dresses, the cake, the invitations, the flowers, and scoures the internet for where to take the honeymoon. All this while the nonchalant groom-to-be takes it all in stride and brags to his buddies how he will finally be able to get some whenever he wants (forgetting the fact that he hopes his bride-to-be will never find out he’s screwing one of the future bridesmaids and having to get a home pregnancy test). The groom-to-be, knowing he will soon not be single anymore, gives an all out effort to go to as many bars, nightclubs or strip joints with his buddies while he can to find all the girls he can screw before committing to “the one.”
The couple allegedly lives in several years of bliss, only to eventually end when both lovers hate each other and seek a divorce attorney. The woman eventually gets the man’s balls thru his wallet by getting half his life savings that took his entire adult life to achieve.
A wedding is nothing more than an expensive day invented by women for women in an attempt to scheme a man of half his life savings it took his entire adult life to acheive.
103👍 64👎