Random
Source Code

tom cruise

A once good actor turned completely insane. He is now engaged to actress Katie Holmes (who looks like she's twelve but is still taller than him). Tom Cruise also VERY OPENLY practices scientology. Scientologists, I'm convinced, are trying to TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE. I mean seriously, anything started and made popular in LA has to be frigged up. They have schools, and art classes, and buildings. ITS FRIGHTENING!!! How can you have a "religion" based off of a sci-fi novel anyway???? It makes no sense.

But really, he had a list of all the single actresses in Hollywood that he could go out with. Katie Holmes was at the end of the list. A girl has to have some pride.

"Oh my God. When she saw Brad Pitt, she went all Tom Cruise and started jumping up and down on my couch. GAWD. Now we need to get new upholstery."

"Poor Batman, he has to kiss Mrs. Tom Cruise."

"YOU SHOW EM, TOM. KICK SOME ALIEN ASS! Ooh wait...nevermind you got sucked up into the ship..."

by Mrs. Hayden Christensen July 4, 2005

384๐Ÿ‘ 117๐Ÿ‘Ž


tom cruise

Exremely soluble professional couch-jumper and squinter. See asshole.

You're a jerk! Now why would you do that?

by hooptie-ryder June 28, 2005

1005๐Ÿ‘ 328๐Ÿ‘Ž


tom cruise

An exceptionally shit actor (refer to his couch jumping antics on Oprah to prove that he loves Katie Holmes), and believes eating asparagus can keep influence from evil alien souls at bay (refer to scientology).

d00d wtf happened? u used to be ok, but now ur a fuggin' mess!!!

by omg!?!?!? August 12, 2005

339๐Ÿ‘ 107๐Ÿ‘Ž


Tom Cruise

A really crappy actor who is trying to promote scientology *see also fraud* but doing a really bad job of it. He has also been flipping out at everyone who does not agree with him.

"And you know, you always have to look at someone who criticizes you, you have to look at them and say, okay, so? Who is that person? Why? What do they know?"
-Tom Cruise

He is obviously a hypocrite too.

guy 1 - who's that guy freaking out on the news?
guy 2 - o that's Tom Cruise. He's an insane psycho freak.

by SkaSkankDownParty July 1, 2005

479๐Ÿ‘ 153๐Ÿ‘Ž


tom cruise

A moron who likes jumping on couches and has absolutely no consideration for other people's furniture. He also looks like a gorilla when he jumps on a couch. But moving on... he has absolutely no expression or emotion in his movies except for war of the worlds in which he looked rather constipated.

tom cruise- I LOVE KATIE HOLMES SO MUCH I'M GONNA DESTROY OPRAH'S COACH. I'M SURE SHE WON'T MIND.
me- go jump on your own couches

tom cruise- OMG I AM SO AWESOME. GO ME. EVERYONE LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY ABOUT SCIENCE AND STUFF. I ROCK!!!
me- what?! you expect me to listen to you when you start lecturing about science?! go bother katie holmes but not me.

by je m'appelle moi January 10, 2006

230๐Ÿ‘ 72๐Ÿ‘Ž


tom cruise

A douche, enough said

Tom Cruise is a douche who thinks he is smart, but he is in fact not

by Tom December 26, 2005

336๐Ÿ‘ 111๐Ÿ‘Ž


tom cruise

A loopy-ass muthafucka who jumps up on sofas and embarasses Dawson's girlfriend all the time. See wack.

Tom Cruise is wack. He needs to get up out of Oprah's grill and stop jumping around like a 5 year old.

by Chilla June 29, 2005

928๐Ÿ‘ 336๐Ÿ‘Ž