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Voltaire's Angry Glove

You take a latex sleeve that goes up to your shoulder, like what they use to inseminate pigs, and you roll it in Elmer's glue. Then you sprinkle rock salt and a little bit of broken glass onto the glove so it's stuck to it. Then you shove your arm into someone's asshole and just drag your knuckles up and down along the sides of the colon. Then you shove a rat in there and cork up the ass with wine cheese. Eventually the pressure will build up and the cheese will go flying off spraying fecal matter and blood everywhere.

I just performed Voltaire's Angry Glove on that puppy and now its dead

by Bryton Bradby October 17, 2007

155👍 64👎


zadig et voltaire

Brand: A luxury store tailored towards the upper echelons of the bourgeoisie, who, in an attempt to preserve an outward image of punk-rockness, wealth, and cultural awareness are essentially reproducing the expected behaviours associated with status anxiety. Clothes are overpriced if the measure is quality; all value is ascribed through social conventions.

Person 1: Damn, is that ripped shirt Zadig et Voltaire?
Person 2: Of course.
Person 1: Well, damn, you must be a modern, successful capitalist, cat!
Person 1 (internally): *Sigh* I wish, If only I were. Instead I try to mask my economic commonality by in-debting myself with outrageous purchases relative to my income.

by MMKLUND November 16, 2017


Voltaire's Mechanized Army

Similar to Voltaire's Angry Glove, but involves an egg beater.

Fill a drinking glass 3/4 of the way with shards of glass and 1/4 of the way with glue. Grind up 1/8 cup of Fiberglass insulation into a fine powder. Fill a bowl with glue.

Dip the egg beater into the bowl of glue to coat it with a thick layer. Begin rotating and dip into the fiberglass. Repeat several times until there is a thick coating of fiberglass powder on the egg beater. At this point, feel free to experiment, try adding razorblades for fun.

Insert the drinking glass, open end first, into the orifice of your choice. Then with a firm swift motion, ram the egg beater in behind the glass, make sure to break it! Begin egg beating away! Mix it up a little though, move deeper and shallower- try different speeds, angles, and amounts of physical force.

Remember, you can do anything well as long as you put your heart into it!

When the angry glove was no longer enough, Voltaire's Mechanized Army was called into action.

by Almighty Bluebird March 17, 2008

38👍 13👎


Voltaire's Angry Glove

A cattle insemination glove rolled in super glue, pieces of glass, and rock salt. Used for anal fisting.

"Timothy, could you fetch Voltaire's Angry Glove? The gimp is misbehaving."

by Jrock LoCash November 1, 2007

55👍 22👎


Voltaire's Angry Fist

The act of placing a glove, usually rubber, on your hand during sex.
You cover the gloved hand in a sticky substance, usually paste, blood, semen, honey, bbq sauce, or baby tears.
The glove is than covered in sand, broken glass, or razor blades and placed into the asshole of another person, animal, or baby.

During my fraternity initiation, the second stage was a Voltaire's Angry Fist. There was a lot of blood, but now I'm a brother!

by Tniles September 5, 2007

19👍 19👎