Whalen on a penny

Term used to describe how quick one is on something. Much like the term stink on shit or white on rice. Whalen on a penny refers to the cheapness of a Dick Smith named Jeff. If one were to let a penny fall from their hands it would never hit the ground in the presence of Jeff.

Boss: Hey Peter are you going to have those TPS reports for me by lunch?
Peter: Chill out Lumberg! I am on it like Whalen on a penny.

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Whalen Wax

Only for use with women who have abundant upper lip facial hair. After vigorous fellatio, pull out of the woman's mouth, deposit a "Got Milk?"-style mustache of semen from edge to edge of the mustache, and allow to dry. Once dry, and presumably, while still restraining said mustachioed female from cleaning her face off, violently rip the hair and encrusted love sauce from her upper lip, leaving skin as soft as a baby's bottom.

Waxer: "Dude, chick showed up last night with more facial hair than Tom Selleck. After dinner and drinks, I brought her back to the shag pad and treated her to a Whalen Wax. She says she's never paying salon prices again!"

Buddy: "Nice."

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Matt Whalen

Drummer of the band The Matches, originally from Oakland, CA. Constantly used as a punchline.

"Everything we do is inspired by Matt Whalen" - Shawn Harris, The Matches "Matt Whalen... Still Matt Whalen"

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Lucia Whalen

a nosy-ass white woman who decides it is her duty to protect her neighborhood from black men, even if these black men happen to be affluent, long-time residents of said neighborhood.

Heed this warning: Temporarily remove your hoodie upon exiting my home, as there is a lucia whalen who lives next door.

Regrettably, I find myself in jail, once again, because that lucia whalen on my block has yet to comprehend that I own a house on the same block that she does.

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Whalen

To enjoy eating ice cream more than the average person, using the tongue excessively in a horatory manner.

-"Man, that whalen last night was outrageous! Right in marin, too"
-"You used a condom man? Or was it a rachelcream boston pie?"

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Ben Whalen

Simp. A person who has been caught lackin’.
Vibe check.

Ben Whalen is a simp.

shana whalen

Hi me! Or one of my friends! How u doing?

(Person Shana Whalen simps for): Heyy ;)
Shana Whalen (Me); JDNDJENWDINWEJ