Wirt

The smallest county in West Virginia. Not the worst, but a close 2nd. The local seat, Elizabeth, actually imports the crackheads from other places by building even more section 8 housing in a town with no jobs. Riding the busted up roads actually feel better than the screwing you get as a parent when everything your kids learns is 10 years behind the rest of America's schools. The road crews are just as lazy as the bloodhound on the front porch, if you even have one. Riding in the holler on your 4 wheeler is the most exciting thing you can do other than sitting at the gas station and watching drug deals take place, in the open, across the street at the welfare office after hours.

Person 1: " Where do you live?"
Person 2: " Out in Wirt county."
Person 1: "Didn't a man that shot his wife's lover run for sherriff there?"
Person 2: "Yes but he lost."
Person 1: "oh, that's right, the dude who only drives around in his truck and makes one deputy do all of the work, and refuses to work past 5, that dude won again. Man Wirt county can really put out some fine people."