you had one job

What bad guys say to their henchman when they either fail their task or get distracted.

Chicken Run lady: You had one job, Mr. Tweedy!

18👍 5👎

you had me at hello

a person started liking the person once they said hello

person 1: you had me after you told me you were a model.
person 2: you had me at hello.

491👍 276👎

Thought You Had a Friend

A way of fooling or tricking someone that you cool with them, as you would reach out and act like you giving them a high five or genuine handshake but pull back and laughing at their expense.

First Guy: "yeah man, we cool. Give me some dab."
Second guy reaches out to dab his fist.
First Guy: (pulling his hand back) "Thought you had a friend." (Turns to laugh at his expense)

6👍 2👎

You Had One Job

A meme that is meant to draw attention to blunders made on the job.

Guy 1: Are those Doritos in the Fritos isle?
Guy 2: You had one job, store manager!

10👍 6👎

Have you had this?

An innocent way of asking whether one has experienced the bunching of one's trousers at the crotch, often involving pointing to one's crotch, that is misconstrued by others as profanity.

Person 1: (pointing at bunched up fabric around crotch) "Have you had this?"

Person 2: (looks disgusted) Leave me alone.

1👍 4👎

you had me at hello

Shut up i wanna fuck, even if it is in front of all these whiny ass divorced bitches. Just put it in my ass right now, Jerry! (From the retarded movie Jerry McGuire)

I asked this blonde girl at the club if she wanted a drink and she said "You had me at hello". I had my dick in her ass before I got the car started.

290👍 1150👎

you had me at hello

we are fuckin tonight!!!

guy says "hey baby, how about some anal enjoyment?"
girl says "of course, you had me at hello"

228👍 1089👎