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a country with a beautiful countryside, and lots of cheap stuff to buy but of great quality. Unfortunately, much like the villages in the South-East of England. In other words, full of racist pricks. We hitch-hiked across the country and found two racist people for every nice person.
<woman who was the first person to talk to us when we got to new zealand>: you had better watch out of the brown people.
1192👍 235👎
New Zealand, right next door to Australia.
100% New Zealand, 100% Natural Resources, 100% Pure Energy Supplies, 0% Air Force, 0% Infantry, 0% Navy.
100% There for the taking. 100% Too Easy. 100% Ours!
- The Gruen Transfer.
Side note.
Bloody New Zealand, think you're so great because you've got one fat director! I'm sick of reading definitions that don't pay you Kiwi bastards the utter lack of respect you deserve. What's with the definition of no Australian's hating NZ? I hate them so much. One good thing besides being part of ANZAC... creating trench warfare. That's it.
1. Australian Gov: Yeah that's a great idea Sean, New Zealand's a great place.. to put all our dickheads.
2. Australian Gov: C'mon, let's invade before the American do.
1092👍 237👎
country voted to have the least sexy accent in the world. the men's voices sound as if their voice box has been pushed to the back of their neck.
the people of new zealand get upset easily. they will often try to start fights, especially with australians who just laugh and wonder why new zealanders get so angry.
the reason new zealanders get angry is because it is a matriachal society and women are hypnotised by a small group of women to never have sex. the reason for this is power of course, but it has nasty side effects - everyone knows that a man who doesn't get any, is irritable and tries to pick fights with their neighbours.
the only men that do get sex, are the sons of the abovementioned small group of women, and they are fucked by their mothers from a young age. these guys are extremely proud as you can see from a lot of the posts here. just walk the streets of a new zealand city any time and you'll know what i mean.
australian tourist in new zealand: excuse me, sorry to bother you. do you have the time?
new zealander: the time? what the fuck did you say to me? new zealand would waste australia.
tourist: *sigh*
1639👍 363👎
a small hole of an island lying of Australia. Infested with sheep and other vermin.
New Zealand is a perfect sight for Atomic Weapons testing
1097👍 247👎
An insignificant group of islands in the South Pacific inhabited by 55 million sheep, 4.5 million of which think they are human.
American: "Are you British?"
New Zealander: "Nah mate, I'm from New Zealand."
American: *blank stare*
English bartender: "What's it to be guv?"
New Zealander: "A pint of lager thanks."
English bartender: "I see your cricketers beat us in the Ashes again."
2469👍 607👎
A place where you will find many sheep and no black people
tourist: where are the black people?
New Zealand: theres no such thing
716👍 167👎
A place where absolutely nothing happens. The most boring place in the world. Great to live in if your 70, retired and want a life of serenity and sheep, but not if your a youth looking for excitement. Seriously don't come to New Zealand if you want to have fun!
Tourist: "I spend two weeks in New Zealand."
Friend: "Oh yeah? What'd you do there? Any crazy stories?"
Tourist: "Well the most exciting thing that happened was this one cow looked at me as I got close. The others didn't you see..."
Friend: "Dude...That is the lamest story ever"
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