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A school that may or may not be filled with nerds. We eat from the ghetto truck everyday (even though ned's truck is better) but never get any fatter, mostly because we spend our free time running away from those fucking seagulls. We are physically incapable of being racist, because any racist will have the living shit shanked out of him by EVERY RACIAL GROUP. The security policies in our school are BS (as in Bronx Science, of course) thanks to fucking Clinton, those murderous raving beasts. Unlike Stuyvesant, we have the will to live and school spirit :). We are fucking geniuses, but our school slogan sucks. We are most definitely not worth the trip, fuck, my commute is 3 hours. We are in the middle of nowhere, the Bronx, and our only connections to the outside world are the 1 and 4 trains. Despite all of this, we are amazing.
kid1 (1am): yo what time you getting to school monday?
bxsci student: well, i left my house 5 minutes ago
kid1: aiight see you thursday
Did you see that kid at bronx science?
Yeah he was fuckin white
(gets shanked by several russians, czechoslovakians, arabs, and somalians)
266👍 48👎
When the guy desperately copying homework in the hallway is an ISEF finalist, the girl vaping in the back of english has a 1600, and the kid skipping school to play valorant has a full ride to Cornell
1: Hey did you hear about that Bronx science kid who won a national debate tournament
2: yea he’s my weed dealer
The one school where you are with either Stuy rejects or people who ACTUALLY put bronx first. the bathrooms are concerning. Trust me. and it's totally not because all the upperclassmen are addicted to something. But it's fine because you'll probably never reach the bathroom in the small cramped hallways that have our tiny lockers. when you're outside getting food from either Ned's or Jay's but not Tony's cos that's too far and DEFINITELY not Michelle's cos that' a rude woman with disgusting food, get ready for the large crowd and the possibility of not being able to order anything cos they cant see you or you aren't loud enough, so keep a tall, loud friend nearby.once you're done and you go inside from the one tiny stairwell that 2000 kids squeeze through every day, you walk to the entrance by the lunchroom where the same 2000 kids who take vallo have to squeeze through but people like to be bitches and cut in from the side. but for some reason we can't walk in through the main entrance that has too many door. we're ghetto and yet most of us are from either Queens or Manhattan so we waste $3000 a year for vallo, the private bus service that constantly has buses breaking down, so you'll have to wait sometimes on the highway for other buses to pick you up. but we still do this cos its better than taking the ever so unreliable 4 subway. but it's ok cos we are all smartasses who cant miss a day cos if you do, you're screwed for you geo test cos cervons proofs are hard as fuck
me: (it's literally all up there ⇞)
ashley: well i dipped to long island
tom: haha can't relate i go to your dream school stuyveSANT cos Bronx Science was my "safety school"
me: *thinks "my safety was dozo"
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1. theorem: stuy<bxsci
2. proof: given s1=1 for no1 thinks stuy is better, t=2 for its ranking after bxsci, u=3, y=4 for bxsci b4 stuy, b=5 for the # of hours of sleep bxsci students get on a good day, x=6 for 666 bc we're all in hell, s2=7 for 7th pd lunch aka the only valid lunch pd, c=8 for i 8 michelles and got food poisoning again, i=9 for the # of hours of sleep bxsci students wish they got, (1)(2)(3)(4)<(5)(6)(7)(8)(9) = (4!)<(9!-4!) = 24<15120 = a true statement.
3. afterword: the above is an example of what bxsci math dept does to ur brain.
a) most likely theorized by a park student tryna skip to bc
b) bronks kids r hella smart, also hella high all the time
c) if he take aps and has a blue pupilpath, u kno he on drugs boi
d) harris field.
stuy kid: stuy is better.
bxsci scholar: bxsci is better. its mathematically proven.
stuy kid: i-
bxsci scholar: recites bronx science theorem
When 20 Bronx Science kids allow you to skip the line at Popeyes because you pretend to be friends with the guy at the front.
“The perk of being normal at Bronx Science is the rampant Bronx Science NPC activity that occurs. I just shoved a short kid in the hallway and they apologized to me.”
The "fight club" started by Bronx Science students, presumably for fun, that got stupidly busted. Parents freaked out and acted like the school had a massive gang presence or crime scene, when in reality, it was a bunch of kids who didn't even fight but just pushed each other, threw a couple punches (that didn't even really do much damage), and tackled each other (a bit). It in no way was like the movie, Fight Club, that gave the group its name. Despite the school taking responsibility for the persecution of the club (and later the NYPD), the fights took place on PUBLIC PROPERTY, meaning the school didn't have the full obligation to follow through on the club. It was discovered via posts onto social media of fights, which, as anyone who watched the movie knows, breaks the most important rule of fight club: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. Later on, there were requests for such media for evidence, AND IT WAS SENT. This kind of egotistical stupidity due to insecurities about one's own "bravado" epitomizes white, urban, male culture (not necessarily suggesting all the members of the club were white).
Point is, if you're gonna do something like this, at least be real about it.
"Hey, did ya hear about the Bronx Science Fight Club? I heard a kid got arrested, and they weren't even fighting!"
"Yeah man, schools, the government, and parents are way too neurotic, nowadays; the kids were being dumb about it, though, so I'm not really sympathizing."
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lmao imagine going to bronx science (this is brought to you by stuy)