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Random
Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.
My mate has become a chav what can i do? answer is shoot him before it is too late
37833👍 7686👎
Regional variations
charver, scalley, ned, chor.
A social underclass par excellence. The absolute dregs of modern civilization, each one a near clone in IQ (the lowest possible whilst still exhibiting brain stem function), attitude, diet, dress sense, uselessness, abusiveness and complete lack of any sense of decorum.
Likely to be found in congregations outside McDonalds, endlessly smoking cheap cigarettes whilst sporting burberry clothes, masses of cheap 9ct gold jewelry from Argos/Index, baseball caps worn at 90 degrees. Female chavs can be identified from their hair, invariably worn pulled back into the tightest possible configuration and secured with at least 5 "scrunchies".
Unable to converse in any high form of language and too lazy to communicate the limited vocabulary they have properly.
The only good chav is dead one. The only thing better than that is a mass grave full of dead chavs and a 24 hour work crew making way for more...
whodya think your'e lookin at? Ah'll batter ya, y' f***in' div!
(then runs to get older brother at first sign of trouble)
565👍 108👎
an ever-growing population of people mostly from council estates. these are mostly 9-15 year olds who think they are gods gift to the world because they are 14 and already has had a child with their morbidley obese girlfriend who probably gave her boyfriends best mate a blow job for a fruit pastille. their main hangout spots are town centres and street corners where they harrass the elderly and the weak and think that this is cool. to attract the opposite sex, which is called a chavette, they wear far to much fake gold and silver which they most probably stole from a market stall at skegness, and wear baseball caps, fake tracksuits (you will find that these are mostly adidas, nike and TN) and and apply ridiculous amounts of cheap aftershave which has the distinctive smell of cat urine. when they have attracted a mate they will give their mate a gift to help their chances of sleeping with them, this is usually an alcoholic beverage (stella artois and cheap cider are highly common) they will then take them to a mating spot, popular spots are on parks and behind bike sheds at school. after this the female or "chavette" will live benifits for the rest of their life and get a council flat which the tax payers will provide, the chavette will then turn the flat into a hoar house and will bring a different chav home almost every night and will neglect the child, unfortunatly this will most probably result in the baby following in their parents footsteps. the chavs and chavettes have developed their own language due to the species being borderline illiterate and needing to form short words to replace others, e.g "blad" meaning friend, or "yard" meaning house, or in the case of the chavettes, council flat.it is likely that up to 90% of the chav population are unable to spell these simple words from their own slang. the chavs have branched off from their far more intelligent cousins; the football hooligans nearly the entire population of chavs are weak and only have a slight amount of bravery when they are with their fellow kinsmen, it is likely that if you get on of them alone they will threaten to shank you with a knife they pretend to have and then run off to their council flat and cry in fear of their lives until they are re-united with more chavs.
chavette yo blad wanna cum to my yard and ill tug u off 4 a stella?
chav no blad, im goin down the endzz wiv the crew to throw bricks at the old peoples home.
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simply put, a prick. Thats it really they r just a bunch of pricks.
The End
look at that retarded chav, whata stupid prick
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modern name: chav
Ancient name: burberritous wankerous
Poor thieving hobo got nothing better to do that listen to shite music and waste their time talking to other 'chavs'. They like to steal things, phones and wallets particularly, they wear crappy sports brands and tuck their trousers into their socks like a bunch of f*cking idiots. They are a general waste of space and oxygen and I think they should all be boiled in acid, sealed in concrete and dumped in the sea.
give us a ligwom dan!/ 'sav a toke on dat burn mush! aka give me a fag!
397👍 81👎
someone who thinks they are the greatest/hardest person in the world. the whole community hate them
common phrases:
1.GET UP MA BOI!
2.phat
3.innit mush
4.yeah bruv
5.get in there ma boi!
6.think your hard mush?
7.what you lookin' at grebo!
rough translation into modern english:
1.i am gay
2.that is good within statistical boundaries
3.yes fellow companion
4.i agree with your aspects
5.well done my associate!
6.i am *harder* than you becuase i have an obsurd fashion sense
7.i would prefer not to be stared at by someone who has a goal in life or a job as this reminds me how stupid i look
448👍 93👎
Chav - Council House and Violent!
The chav is a horrible, lower form of humanity who think wearing "old ladies" burberry car rugs fashioned into anything from caps to pants is cool.
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