compaq

Computer manufacturer that makes everything from handheld computers (pocket size computer) to the gs320 (a UNIX server the size of a uhaul van). They also made good portable systems until they merged with hp (now their laptops suck because they only have 1 memory slot).

I have an old compaq system with 2 memory slots

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compaq

A machine that has everything on the motherboard and the motherboard never works

Dude i wuz gonna game on my compaq at the lan but i had to take it apart and solder the fan to the usb port and reinstall windows.

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compaq

A computer so low in quality, the only computers lower than it are Apple Computers.

Steve: "Dude, you'r gettin' a Dell!"

John: "Ya, but it's got to be better than this fucking Compaq. By the way, are you high?"

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compaq

The invention-free PC marketing company that attempted to acquire some brains by buying Digital Equipment Corporation but failed to layoff all of themselves at the same time... so now they all got sucked up by HP and COMPAQ is dead.

Maybe Enron should pull a COMPAQ and buy Saudia-Arabia.

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compaq

Compaq:

Conviently
Overpriced
Manufactered
Poorly
Against
Queers

need i say more?

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compaq

Shitty computers with no AGP slots.

I tried to Play Doom 2 on my New Compaq! It was too intense for the intergrated graphics, so I decided to run it in 4 bit color.

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COMPAQ

A brand of Computers and Laptops, whose letters stand for 'Craptastic Ominfrustrating Mega Piece of Anything Questionable'. The word 'Omnifrustrating' implies that laptops of this brand are usually found by the user to be frustrating on a variety of different levels. This definition stems from my hate for this brand which has grown both due to my own experience for more than five years with COMPAQ laptops as well as any IT professional's reaction upon learning the brand of laptops of which I've just complained.

"Man I hate this freaking COMPAQ! What a Craptastic Omnifrustrating Mega Piece of Anything Questionable!"

"User: 'My laptop's not working at all! It's giving me grief and causing me a lot of frustration, and I only bought it 3 weeks ago!'
IT Tech: 'What laptop do you have?'
User: 'It's a COMPAQ.'
IT Tech: 'Ah, there's your first problem.'"

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