cranial rectal proximity syndrome

corporate-speak or PC phrase to describe someone who's got their head stuck squarely up their ass.

Not sure what's going on with Joe today - he's acting like a real jerk. Maybe he's suffering from cranial rectal proximity syndrome

Cranial-Rectal Entanglement Syndrome

Cranial-Rectal Entanglement Syndrome (also known as Anal-Cranial Entanglement Syndrome, or ACES) is a disorder which is characterized by someone who is incapable of performing a simple task due to pure stupidity or an apparent misplacement and, therefore, disuse of their cerebellum and cerebrum.

Esp. applies when someone has one job and cannot complete it properly, if at all.

Karen suffers from such a severe case of Cranial-Rectal Entanglement Syndrome, she has a visible tan-line around her neck.

I’ve run into a catch-22 due to two of the people I rely on having ACES.

rectal cranial inversion

having ones head up their ass

that asshole had a serious case of rectal cranial inversion.

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rectal-cranial inversion

a serious medical condition, wherein your cranium, or brain, has changed places with your rectum, or asshole. it can lead to jail time, unwanted pregnancy, divorce, loss of job and/or income, and public embarrassment.

joey: oh man, i can't believe i broke up with chloe; she's the best thing that ever happened to me. how could i be so stupid?
zoey: you may have been suffering from rectal-cranial inversion. you may still be. consult your psychologist or your proctologist as soon as possible.
joey: thanks, you're a real pal. i guess i need a tractor.
zoey: for what?
joey: to pull my head out of my ass!!
zoey: true dat.

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Rectal Cranial Intrusion

The medical term for having one's head up their own arse.

"You know Dan in sales? The smug git that totally suffers from a bad case of rectal cranial intrusion?
Yeah, got hit by a bus today..."
*claps*

Rectal/Cranial Inversion

Having one's head up one's ass.

Julie is such a suck-up! She's suffering from a rectal/cranial inversion these days!

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Cranial-Rectal Impaction (Syndrome)

A condition wherein the patient's rectum is blocked (impacted) by their own cranial matter, resulting in the following symptoms: inability to think critically, difficulty processing rational arguments, loss of desire to collaborate. Oddly it does not impact the ability to pass flatus.

Those suffering from this condition also often suffer from procto-milontas.

Nurse - the patient is clearly suffering from a cranial-rectal impaction (syndrome). Please provide 30 mg of Thorazine and be prepared to perform an attitute adjustment.