Disasterbate

In the face of pending doom, man shuns only the quickest and most rewarding of activities. Disasterbation describes the carnal quest for the much-coveted preapocalyptic climax.

The second most satisfying of self-pleasuring activities, Disasterbation bows only to Faux Invigordisastpublation--publicly masturbating, with vigor, in anticipation of a miscalculated armageddon.

(see also: Dicksimation, Blastpocalypse, Cum Bucket List, Anal-Eye-alation, Catajysm, Catastrofeces, and Holocaustitution)

INTELLECTUAL 1: "My goodness, Intellectual 2, I dare say that, despite having immaculately worded definitions, the examples UrbanDictionary endorses often seem contrived in nature, unnecessarily abrupt, and leave one with a dearth of expounding information via general scenario, anecdote, or lexicon."

INTELLECTUAL 2: "Hear Hear, Intellectual 1! I ... OH! Gracious, is that an earthquake!?!? ... DISASTERBATE!"

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Disasterbation

To gorge on the massive amounts of fear-mongering news media that reports on nothing more than tragic and violent events across the country and the world.

The disasterbation in this country was waning after the shooting in Arizona until the earthquake/tsunami hit Japan.

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Disasterbate

When, after unsuccessfully attempting to pick up at the bar (or elsewhere), one returns home to masturbate... Generally while sobbing.

"I was chatting up this totally hot yoga instructor all night when she decides to mention that she has a boyfriend... So I basically had no choice but to head home alone and disasterbate."

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disasterbating

The act of masturbating violently, perhaps using objects that inflict pain on ones genitals, in order to achieve sexual pleasure.

1:"i was disasterbating yesterday with a a piece of plywood and i cant get the splinters out of my dick"

2:"i slammed my dick in the desk drawer yesterday when i was disasterbating and it is crooked now"

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disasterbate

To direct more coverage at a disaster than is appropriate or necessary, in an attempt to gain viewers.

Man, FOX News sure disasterbated 9/11 for all it was worth.

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Disasterbate

To masturbate but fail in the end.

I was cumming to My Little Pony when Dead horses showed up in my mind. Fucking Disasterbated.

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Disasterbate

The act of masturbating during a natural disaster.

Instead of panicking during the earthquake, Billy just disasterbated.

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