East Haddam, CT

The fourth Largest town in Connecticut (land-wise), nestled in the Connecticut River Valley. It has a population of roughly 8000, and is made up of East Haddam, Moodus, Hadlyme, Millington and Lake Hayward. It is about 20 minutes from anything and is home to a subpar school system that seldom gives back to the community in way of facility use. Within, there is the Gristmill Market and a 7-11 which is either inhabited by pale students who think they're ghetto, or students in their brand new pick up trucks that think they're hicks. There are no stop lights, only two blinking red lights to indicate a stop sign at a four way intersection, and the town is generally not allowed to open any sort of chain or franchise because it is categorized as a historical town.
Made famous by Fox Hopyard golf course, the historical Goodspeed Opera House and the multi-championship winning high school softball team (accredited to the fact that there are hardly any other sports to play in the Nathan Hale-Ray school system), East Haddam has a small tourist population mostly consisting of the elderly in the summer time. There is a bad teen alcohol, teen drug use, and teen un-safe sex problem in East Haddam that most parents tend to ignore or enable, often times accredited to the fact that East Haddam is boring. The Goodspeed Opera House has hosted a few famous people (James Vanderbeek, Julie Andrews) and actor Michael McKean has been said to live in town at one point.

Did you play football in high school?
No...I went to school in East Haddam, CT

Can we have a pizza delivered?
No way! This is East Haddam, CT

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East Haddam, Ct

The most boring town ever founded. The most entertaning thing to do is to go to 7-11 and hang out. Home to Bashan Lake

Dude lets go do something.

What theres nothing to do in East Haddam, Ct

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Franklin Academy East Haddam

A place of hell. Founder Freddy Westerbeck (yes related to the TCAP guy) believed that children should be seen and never heard of again, and thus found the easiest targets to be kids with such disorders as autism, anxiety, ADD, and inceldom to be the most fit, as they werent retarded enough to where they couldn't be used for labor but could be convinced that anarcho socialism was the way to achieve the new world order.. Field trips include trips to Dollar General, gay pride parades, and the crack dens of Middletown and East Hartford. The school while presenting itself as a haven for social justice and multiculturalism, is 99% white, and regularly expells all students of african ancestory for "being too animalistic" in the founders words. The teachers also enjoy photographing the younger girls and teachers who try and stop this are fired and stripped of all communications with their families. Students are kept in prison like concrete buildings filled with signs saying "words are violence" and "let fred come into your body". It is a scary place

Friend one - "So I might be going to Franklin Academy East Haddam to help with my social anxiety"
Friend two - "Bro my brothers old classmate went there, they totally fucked with his head and filled his head with psycotic shit. Freakin mess that guy"
Friend one - "on god?"