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Dude 1: Did you know Herschel Walker thinks evolution is fake?
Dude 2: No, why does he think that?
Dude 1: Because monkeys exist; since we evolved from monkeys, they shouldn't exist.
Dude 2: God the Republican party is a joke
Dude 1: fr
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Law of internet forums stating that any post conflating "Uranus" with "your anus" shall be down-voted to oblivion for being brain-meltingly unoriginal.
Uranus is nineteen times further from the sun than Earth, and therefore receives 1/360th the amount of sunlight. +3
Uranus is where the sun don't shine! -5,000,000; Herschel's Law invoked
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Backdoor sex for the chosen people.
She wouldn’t let me have sex with her before marriage, but was happy to give up her Herschel Highway.
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Telling stories and anecdotes that make no sense whatsoever, or just outright lies. Similar to, but less mind-boggling than Donald Trumpin.
Gary: Did you see that Herschel Walker has kids he’s not in contact with after criticizing absentee fathers?
Tim: Aw that’s just Herschel Walker out here Herschel Walkin.
Gary: Did you see that weird story he told about a bull that essentially says people should stick with what they’ve got, which kind of indicates they SHOULDN’T vote for him?
Tim: He really needs an MRI.
Winter beverage consisting of half-coffee, half-hot chocolate.
If it were the summer I would enjoy an Arnold Palmer, however being as its the winter I will instead enjoy a Herschel Walker.
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The act of molesting and/or penetrating the most elderly waitress at Cracker Barrel.
History: Uncle Herschel had a impulsive sexual taste for old women, near death. Uncle Herschel's Favorite is an act, a documented chain of events comprised from Herschel's most coveted and well known encounter.
Prerequisites:
Her tits must sag like Two Eggs over easy. You must jiggle (earthquake test) to ensure maturity.
The act:
Using three fingers you then must enter her rectum in a pinching motion, pulling out any loose debris, then feeding her the Mashbrown Asserole before it can be contaminated from the outside air. It must be fresh and ripe and done so in a sweeping motion. Or if you prefer, that step can be bypassed if you'd rather insert an entire fried apple in her a-hole. There must be a Sawmill Gravy run in her panties, and her inner vaginal walls must be the consistency of grits. Both can only be tested only with your tongue, and no pinching of the nose is allowed. You then have to pick your meat and insert it whichever hole is still duty-free, while balancing the triangular peg game on her head.
Any deviation, and it's not an Uncle Herscel's Favorite... Just nastyness, plus extensive jailtime.
Bob: I'm horny.
Neil: I'm hungry.
Bob: Want to goto Cracker Barrel?
Neil: Hell yea, what are you gonna eat?
Bob: I'm probably gonna get an Uncle Herschel's Favorite
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This bad bitch will always be there for you. She's hot and very thick ! Sometimes, she can be the meanest girl even if she doesn't look like.
Omg you're such a Herschelle!
I guess you're name is Herschelle.