Hickory Link

N. Equal to, or less than, a penis.

I accidentaly got my hickory linkstuck in a log.

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hickory shampoo

n. a technique typically used by law enforcement wherein the wooden baton - traditionally made of wood from the hickory tree - is applied on or about the head and shoulders of a deserving miscreant resisting arrest or otherwise needing a lesson.

COP 1: "Last night, some drunk dude wanted to fight when I went to arrest him. Now he's in the hospital getting his teeth re-aligned."

COP 2: "How'd you get him?"

COP 1: "Gave him the ol' hickory shampoo."

COP 2: "Damn..."

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Hickory Buttscrew

Leapfrogging stalled traffic by exiting a merging construction lane at the last minute, effectively shaving minutes off your drive time. Often framed as an accident; the common reasoning being "I didn't see the merging signs or the hundreds of stalled vehicles waiting their turn," or "I'm a better human being."

I can't be late to my daughter's recital again. Time for the hickory buttscrew.

hickory switch

A wooden implement, especially a tree branch, used for spanking.

"The old man will come a-runnin' with a hickory switch."

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hickory fit

when a man has erectile dysfunction he is so filled with rage that he throws a violant rampage.

Dude I'm so mad if I don't get a boner in five minutes I'm gonna' have a hickory fit on your ass.

hickory tea

Midwest slang for an ass whooping

(The ass whooping of all ass whoopings, If someone offers you hickory tea run cause that sum bitch is gonna hurt)

“Boy you want some hickory tea!?” -someone’s angry mother

Hickory bogas

Hickory bogas is a term when you think something someone said is not true. If someone lies about something you can say “ that is hickory bogas”.

Jonathan H: I did not spank John.
Benjamin C: that is hickory bogas.

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