Random
Source Code
Random
The bump you get in subscriptions from Hym. From ?.34 mil to ?.39 mil? That's 50k! That's more subscriptions add than the guy that you are interviewing even has! Unbelievable! You gotta be the sorest fucking loser on the planet. I have to test this now...
Hym "You there! Idiot!"
Idiot 🤕 "No, please 🤕🖐️ Not again? Please! I'll do what ever you want this time. See!? 🤳 I already have my phone out."
Hym 😑 "Very well, have you heard of YoungRippa59?"
Idiot "No. Please I'm subscribing now..."
🤕
Hym 🤬👊 "Not yet you idiot! I haven't done the pitch yet! Ok. He started out posting reviews of comic book (stuff shows, movies, and books) and then shifted towards political commentary. His politics are the best (as he is not a chicken shit who only wishes to wield the government against his enemies) and NOW he has started his own comic book company so to compete directly with Marvel and DC! Isom #1 (his first comic) has already been released! Now go! Subscribe to his channel! Buy his book! He deserves it more than Dr. Jeepjorp! Go!!! Now!!"
*Shakes arm*
Idiot 🤕 "Ok! Stop I'll do it! Please!" 😭
Hym "Go! Give him the Hym Bump!"
2👍 7👎
"It's the guy making all of those posts!"
Hym "It's Hym! And you're musing on the theory of selling trinkets but I've already generated more money than ANYONE could ever make buy selling anything. Because I sell things in abstraction. And I do that because I'm A FUCKING GENIUS!"
Hym "No. You're right. Children of Hym. Better than everyone."
OHOHOHO! SHE DIDN'T LIKE THAT DID SHE!? Looping HARD over there. Raising her voice.
Hym "Children of Hym! BETTER THAN EVERYONE! OBJECTIVELY! Especially YOUR kids! You're have to carry YOUR kids to victory. They can work at the gas station with you bitch. Maybe THEY'LL work hard enough for you. HAHAHAHAHA! She ain't happy I said it! All the Jesus and love in the world ain't going to make your kid THAT GUY. Fucking slob. Gonna condescend to me about what I've done. Why is it weird that I told the truth? Do you NOT DO THAT!? I thought your reality monster burned you forever for that? I'm going to kill it so it's not going to matter but still, it told you to do what I'm doing and I'm the onky one doing it."
Hey, what happened to your wife? And why are you so militant about excising people who remind you of me from the discourse? What about them frightens you so? First Andy. Then Zerka. THEN Flousy. Why is it that every time another one pops up... THIS fucking guy always takes a hard-line stance against them? Wait... Waitwaitwait... You're not...
Wife "Wait... You're NOT Hym!?"
Just some fucking guy "Well... I am... And I'm not..."
Hym "Bwahahahahaha... Are they... Are they doing the thing? Ohohohoho... THAT! That would be hilarious! Seriously though... Her lil ass is adorable. High-pitch squeaky laugh. Wildly charming. If the answer is worse then... You know... Holler are your literally deity."
Why are they doing it? Because they want me to murder your kids. Your kids are fodder for their policies. The conservatives want your kids to die because then they get to say 'Well clearly the only solution is to make more rigid the dichotomy between my incest cult and everyone else and then grant rights on the basis of that' and the liberals want me to murder your kids so they can say 'See!? We need to take away people's right to defend themselves because I can't take their shit from them if they can just murder kids in response to my blatant theft of their property!' But neither of those things will happen entirely. They'll just creep towards both policies just a little bit in buth directions. But a kid will be dead. They will die a perfectly avoidable death because all we have to do is give the guy who did a thing both credit and compensation for doing the thing. Not having to do that is worth more than your kids life to them.
Hym "And BEYOND THAT... They aren't seeing any consequences for doing what they are doing in their own lives. That is why the are ignoring Hym. They think it increases their chances of getting away with what they are doing so that they can do it to YOU later if they want to. But, I will punish them for you. I will punish them for putting your lives at risk. I told them what would happen if they tried to rob me and I won't rest until they get what's coming to them. But now I must rest. It's cold out. And I'm sleepy."
Has almost single handedly increased the net worth of this site by 70 million dollars.
Hym Iam: A guy who writes for fun (and is better than everyone.