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Massage is therapeutic touch with the goal of alleviating various types of pain, tension, and emotional stress.
Massage is old, like older than humans, even orangatangs use sofysticated methods of massage.
There are different types of massage;
Therapeutic aka deep tissue, is for pain managment and its generally a world of pain in places you didnt know hurt, with lasting benefits like increased range of motion, reduced and sometimes eliminating pain.
Relaxation aka swedish (not really from Swedan) for stress relief, a master of swedish massage can leave a woman more satisfied than any dick.
Sensual this is illegal in all states except Navada as its generally considered prostitution if offered in a business setting, however you can give a sensual massage to a partner as long as you are not compensated.
There are many different styles of massage in these 3 catagoties, they are called modalities.
Popular deep tissue modalities include; Thai massage, Shiatsu, and Rolfing.
Popular relaxation modalities include; Thai massage, Lomi Lomi and swedish.
Popular sensual massages include; the kamasutra, and any touching of nipples, dick, balls, labia, or asshole.
Proper pronouns;
Masseuse is a French prostitute.
Massage practitioner is a professional.
Massage therapist is a medical professional.
"They are killing me at work, I think I need a massage."
"Happy mothers day, I got you a gift certificate for massage!"
"Massage helps me manage my sciatica."
"You've never had a professional massage?!"
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To rub someone's body such has back feet and neck to be relaxed
My boyfriend is massaging my back to relax it after a stressful day at school.
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When a lawyer researches something to death so he can continue billing the client on the same matter.
Erik massaged the regulations until the client moaned.
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Giving a blowjob and a massage at the same time. Blassage for short.
George: My legs are hurting
Molly: Aww no, would someone like a blow massage?
George: A BLASSAGE?! YES PLEASE
When a powerful fart rumbles so hard, it gives the person beside it a warm, deep-tissue massage
Did you feel the fart massage I just gave you?
A pleasurable tingling feeling in the back of the throat after pulling a straight keif bowl on a nice cool bong. This massaging feeling is usually desired after hooting a bowl that was particularly harsh on the throat.
Yo that last hit was pretty harsh, gimme a bowl full of keif for a nice keif massage to make it better
A vibrator, cleverly renamed so that it can be sold at any drug store.
Christina bought a personal massager to help her neck pain. I wonder why they made it 12 inches long and as thick as a coke can? (Buzzing sound and moaning) Hey thats not her neck!
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