It's not my problem

What you say when someone else asks for your help with a so-called "emergency". While this response may indeed be fully valid/appropriate in cases where the asker is unreasonably seeking assistance and/or should be seeking said assistance elsewhere, it unfortunately can also be abused, wherein the speaker may be wrongfully denying the asker reasonable or "Golden Rule" help --- in other words, the same type/degree of assistance that HE HIMSELF would logically expect from others if HE had a similar unexpected crisis in his OWN life.

Stranded motorist: Thanks so much for coming out in the rain to give me a jump-start, Buddy! Bless your heart!
Redneck hippie in an ancient Ford F-150: No problemmo, Dude --- it's only what I'd want myself if I was in this same situation. I'm just sorry you walked all that distance to ask me for help... there's a fairly well-off family who lives a good quarter-mile nearer here than I do, and they have several nice vehicles that they could have helped you with.
Motorist: Yeah, well I actually DID ask there, and the smooth-skinned older hombre who came to the door with a TV-remote in his hand just told me curtly, "It's not my problem --- you should have remembered to turn off your headlights."

Redneck: Really?!?? Well, that totally SUX --- I guess HE'S just never had any problems like this, and so he doesn't know that errors like that can happen to anyone!

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I missed the part where that's my problem

Something you say to someone when they have mentioned something you don't give a fuck about or isn't relevant.

Person1: Hey man, I was sick yesterday.
Person2: I missed the part where that's my problem.

Student: I was late because I missed the bus..
Teacher: I missed the part where that's my problem.

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I missed the part where that's my problem

A comeback when a friend/family member says something that you just honestly don't give a fuck about. It's also not your damn problem

Person: What the hell am I gonna do? My girlfriend left me...mydog ran away...I got fired...
Person2: I missed the part where that's my problem.

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Blaming everyone else for my problems

I don't have a problem with my behavior. I don't have a problem with the elements of my life that a therapist would have me change. I have a problem with both being harassed at work and not being duely compensated for my property and labor.

Hym "And I'm NOT, NOT PAYING MYSELF AM I? I'M NOT WATCHING ME TAKE A DIARRHEA SHIT AM I EMMA FROM THE MAJORITY REPORT? AM I HARASSING MYSELF AT WORK? DID I TELL NOAH KROLL (THE RETARD AT THE GROUP HOME IN WHICH I WORKED) WHAT WROTE HERE OR WAS MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED AS PART OF A SURVEILLANCE APPARATUS? IS MY WORK BEING MONETIZED BY SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME? THESE ARE MY 'PROBLEMS' AND IF YOU ARE HERE YOU ARE EITHER PARTICIPATING ACTIVELY OR COMPLICIT IN THE COVER UP AND IF I CAN'T GET TO YOU, AN INNOCENT WILL BE PUNISHED IN YOUR STEAD. I'M AM NOT BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR MY PROBLEMS. I'M BLAMING THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE THING THEY ARE DOING TO ME. IT ISN'T LITTLE SUSIE-AT-GAMESTOP-WHO-WANTS-TO-BUY-A-TOY-FOR-DAN'S FAULT YOU'RE DOING THIS AND THE FED WHO FOLLOWED ME TO THE STORE WAS A STEP BEHIND AND ALWAYS WILL BE A STEP BEHIND BUT SHE WILL BE THE ONE WHO PAYS THE PRICE!"

my problems were myriad

She was having her period

Man who shall not be named: "My problems were myriad.."
Girl: (sarcastically) "i was having my period..."

Not my problem

You know what, I'm going to take a different route with this one. I was going to say something else (Which you likely saw) but I'm going to pivot and say this instead: If Forrest Gump is "real" in the same way that the bible is "real" then there is is no REAL moral significance to the moral presuppositions. Additionally, if the book needs to be interpret by someone who doesn't believe in the underlying axioms for people draw accurate conclusions... Then the book itself is not an accurate lens through with to view the world. His entire case for the bible is literally just "What? The glasses your wearing have ink all over them? Don't worry. I'll just tell what's happening." And then he reaches into you wallet and takes your money and then he guides you straight into a wall and walks away.

Hym "Not my problem he says. You just want the moral authority of God for yourself and if you amswer the question honestly you lose it immediately. So you obfuscate the nature of 'truth' and 'real' to appease your own conscience."