Random
Source Code
Random
1. Used to describe potential failure in a given situation if a particular course of action is taken.
2. When you have done something exceptionally stupid causing you to have no progress toward resolution when attempting to solve a problem.
The concept being that it would be stupid, dangerous, and not to mention uncomfortable to step on your own dick. Furthermore, continued forward movement while stepping on one's own dick might cause additional harm to said member, while at the same time you are physically held back because as you proceed forward the forward movement is impeded by said foot on said dick.
1. "If we try to solve problem X by doing thing Y it'll be like we're stepping on our own dicks."
2. "I was sawing that 2 x 4 with that rusty ass hand saw you gave me and it was like I was stepping on my own dick. Where's the motherfucking circular saw?"
First heard by me in Ithaca, NY about 10 years ago.
68👍 13👎
The Motto of Bear Grylls.
New studies indicate that piss is the elixir of youth.
and youtube.com/watch?v=tjlbc5IPhgI to watch how it's technically done.
Go to buzzfeed.com/awesomer/survival-tips-from-bear-grylls
for more tips from the master.
Me:Why the fuck are judging this? Have you ever drank your own piss? If I say it's the elixir of youth, I mean it's the elixir of youth!!!
Bear Grylls: You tell 'em, Nick. The sun's going down, better Drink My Own Piss. Wait, I'm out of my own piss. Hey Nick
Me : Yeah?
Bear Grylls: I'm out of my own piss..... I better Drink Your Piss, mate.
19👍 3👎
When one has fallen foul to a simple mistake of their own making, to great consequence.
Oh no, I just gave away my last can of spam and now I have none! I have really Spooned my own tits.
8👍 1👎
When you do not trust a female to perform oral sex on your penis, so you do it yourself
Deadass brug, ion trust these thots so I shlurp my own shmeat.
Slang term for getting an abortion
Herman Cain: And if you make a little mistake with one of your ho’s, you’ll want to dispose of that problem toot sweet, no questions asked, right?
Anonymous black man: Naw, that’s too cold. I don’t snuff my own seed…
Herman Cain: Huh. Really? (pause) Well, maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican!
7👍 1👎
A bastardization of the idiom "Toot my own Horn" but emphasizing a narcissism equivalent to wanting to have sex with yourself. Used ironically to brag.
Person 1: I don't mean to toot my own dick but I think this is the best painting I have ever made and better than what anyone else will ever make.
Person 2: Keep it up and eventually that ego will expand to the point it collapses and you devolve into an asshole.
20👍 9👎
To be foiled by your own advantage(i.e., explosives prematurely explode).
The history of the phrase comes from the uses of a petard in a seige (a petard is a volitile early explosive capable of bringing down castle walls). To be hoisted is to be lifted or sent up, which is generally what would happen to you if you were near a petard when it goes off (and that's if you got off lucky).
The term, "Hoisted on my own petard" is incorrect (unless of course you were pulled up while on a petard, but that'd be clinicly stupid) in that the meaning is altered. This bastardization is built upon the assumtion that a petard is a spear.
Sergeant- "Did you plant all the claymores Corporal Johnson?"
Corporal- "Yes sir."
Sergeant- "Where did you plant them."
Corporal- *Looks around shiftily* "Ummmm..."
Sergeant- "You don't know do you?"
Corporal- "No."
Sergeant- "Hoisted by my own petard."
Synonym- see clusterfuck
63👍 40👎